Self Doubt (?)
Why is it so easy to believe in a god than to believe in your own self?
No, I’m not here to rile up the religious; and no, I’m not here encourage the atheists. All I want to put across is my confusion on the fact that it is so easy for people to believe in something that may or may not exist (I am agnostic) but it is so difficult for people to believe in themselves. They exist, they know they do, and they are closest to themselves than anyone else, and still they do not believe in themselves!
You might think, look at this guy, he talks as if he has not had any self doubt, he believes in himself. He doesn’t know how soul crushing it is to know (read:think) that what you want to do can’t be done by you because you judge yourself to be unworthy, you compare and contrast yourself with the best of that industry and see only your shortcomings and the lack of courage to take the leap forward. Yes, I have been in the clutches of self doubt for far too long, but now it is time I start believing in myself. And so do you.
It’s not good to judge other people, for you have not been in their shoes. But is it good to judge yourself, for you have been walking in your shoes forever? Those judgements you make about others, are actually judgements you make on yourself, comparing that person’s life with yours.
Judging solely for the purpose of making yourself better is a better exercise than judging yourself unworthy. See your own shortcomings and strive to make yourself better by it, rather than accepting it as a flaw you forever have to keep.
I recently heard a song, I think it was by Tame Impala. I just remember this one line,
At the end of the day, it’s only you judging yourself.
This made me smirk, for how true it rang in my brain. However we perceive everyone else, we see them only from our own limited perception. Everybody is judging everyone else, but actually we are just comparing ourselves to them and in that we are judging ourselves. We need to stop that. We need to stop judging ourself, accept ourself (flaws and all) and believe in ourself, believe that we can over come those flaws and rise to a height we have only dreamed of.
You think all the people you judge as ‘great’ in the world would have reached where they are without believing in themselves? They believed they could do it, they overcame the obstacle that is self doubt, and so can you. Anyone can.
Everybody would want a god to exist, so that they could have someone to blame for their bad luck or hope that someone is looking out for them, and when they do fall, their god will protect and take care of them. A magic wave of a wand and you are set on the path you should be taking. When does the realization sink in that the magic wave that you have been waiting for is inside of you, and you can wave it whenever you want?!
Watch this video of paraolympics and you’ll know what I mean.
If they can, so can you. All you have to do is get rid of the self doubt in you.
I recently read the book American Gods by Neil Gaimen. It was a wonderful book about the “gods” in America and how they were losing power because they were not believed in anymore. They were depicted as old haggard men and women at the brink of death, or dying out. Old and irritable.
*Spoiler Alert*
At the end of the marvellous plot twist, the protagonist, Shadow, confronts all the gods in battle and tells them a line that is so powerful it made me keep the book down for a bit and think over it. He said,
“I think I would rather be a man than a god. We don’t need anyone to beileve in us. We just keep going anyhow. It’s what we do.”
That struck me as the most powerful line in the entire book. (And there were many to choose from)
A human being can go on living without anyone believing in him (even himself), he will continue to exist; all it takes to reach the level of a god is belief, and believing in yourself is the first step you take in that direction. The rest is up to you
N E X T → Silence
