“How do I get back my self-esteem?”

1. Write down everything that’s important to you. The amount of people that have found excuses not to do this… it’s baffling. When I did this, when I wrote down everything that was important to me, when I put it in order, I looked at my list and I had only thought: “that’s me.” That’s self-esteem.
2. Live by everything that’s important to you. Writing it all down is step 1. But writing it all down and not living by it will hurt you. It will hurt because you know who you are but you’re not being who you are. That’s a “fuck you” to your self-esteem.
3. Understand that you’re just as important as everybody else. We’re all important. We’re all unique. We’re all just as important and we’re all just unimportant as each other. You’re not an exception.
4. Understand that it’s SELF-esteem. It’s not what-other-people-think-of-you-esteem. It’s not achievements-esteem. It’s SELF-esteem. Understand this and you’ll be free.
5. Give yourself the chance to be judged. Write something and put it out there. Or draw something. Or paint something. Or do some public speaking. Or talk to a stranger. Let yourself be judged because people with healthy self-esteem don’t take it personally when they’re judged.
6. Understand that you’re the one that gave it away. Nobody can take your self-esteem away from you. Unless.
7. Understand that you’re not perfect. And you never will be. Ever. You won’t even come close. Now that’s a relief.
8. Stop being who you think you should be. Because that’s not who you are. Being who you think you should be will ruin your self-esteem because it means you’re telling yourself that the real you isn’t good enough.
9. Understand that your self-esteem is 100% in your control. How “much” you have is up to you. How much you let other people affect it is up to you. How much of it you give away is up to you. Remember: it’s SELF-esteem.
10. You’re more than your results. Maybe something you tried didn’t work. Maybe lots of things you’ve tried haven’t worked. Maybe you’ve failed more than you’ve succeeded. If you’re me, all of those things are true. But failing doesn’t make me a failure. People with low self-esteem ignore reality and don’t learn from their failures. People with healthy self-esteem learn from their failures and become better. Because they know that, even if their work wasn’t good enough, THEY are still good enough.