Let me preface this post by saying it’s okay to have a plan. It’s okay to stick to that plan or to change that plan or to abandon that plan. It’s also okay not to have a plan at all.

Everybody is different, and there is no one path to love, happiness, or success. I’m not sitting here writing this pretending to know what I’m doing or what’s best for everyone else. I am a human who makes mistakes and tries his best to learn from them. I am a person who goes to bed every night wanting more and wakes up the next day with that same desire for betterment.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let me share with you some things I’ve learned.

Patience is most definitely a virtue. While I don’t necessarily believe good things come to those who wait, it takes a certain level of maturity to keep your cool when you’re on standby. Patience is important in some situations, but there are times when you just need to take action. Abraham Lincoln did say: “Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who #hustle.”

Last week, I received a message through my website from a recruiter. She wanted to gauge my interest in a job opportunity she had for a client. I don’t normally respond to unsolicited job opportunities, but I gave her a call anyway. After a nice conversation, she told me all she had to do was talk to her contact at the company to set up an in-person interview. She had “a good feeling about it.”

Less than three hours later, I received an email detailing a place and time for the interview, and the recruiter mentioned how excited the company was to meet me. I responded by telling her I was no longer interested in the opportunity. I thanked the recruiter for taking the time to reach out to me, and I wished her luck in her candidate search.

What changed in those three hours?

I thought about it. Sometimes, the best opportunities are the ones you can’t — and don’t — plan for. But I wondered how good a job could actually be if I hadn’t even applied for it. I assumed the company was desperate. I assumed the recruiter was desperate. I assumed I wouldn’t like the job that much anyway, and I knew deep down I was right, so it wasn’t worth my time.

Was I right? By taking a job I never wanted in the first place, would I be settling?

Or am I really that naive, thinking something isn’t worth keeping just because it’s free? For someone who works so hard to ensure that people and chances will someday come to him, I can’t explain why I’d slam a door shut without even peeking into the room.

But I can try.

A few months ago, I took a girl on a date. She was a friend of a friend; I’d met her just once prior to our rendezvous. (<- That makes it sound a lot cooler than it was. But don’t get me wrong…) She was great: down to earth, funny, cute, cool to hang out with — exactly the type of girl I’d want to date.

Toward the end of the night, I couldn’t shake the feeling that there would not be a second date. This didn’t bother me at all, and I’m sure it bothered her even less. As odd as it sounds, we both had fun (I hope), but we also picked up on each other’s signals throughout the night. For two individuals who had little interest in seeing each other again, we were on the same page (I think).

Could I have pursued this girl? Absolutely, but that doesn’t mean either of us would’ve been happy about it. Could I have pursued that job opportunity? Absolutely, but that doesn’t mean I would’ve been satisfied with it. Had I pursued either of these scenarios, I would’ve spent my time unfulfilled — detached, secretly yearning for something better, something that would make me happier.

This is what I mean when I say I throw the small ones back. When I cast my line, I’m shooting for the biggest fish I can catch — one I can be satisfied with, one worth keeping.

Life is too short to waste time on things that don’t make you happy. We are all capable of catching that big fish professionally, romantically, personally, whatever. We just need to figure out if we’re patient enough and persistent enough. We must ask ourselves how much we truly want it.

You want to learn piano? Learn piano. Want to make that girl/guy fall in love with you? (You know, the one whose Instagram photos you always ❤?) Start a conversation with her/him. Want to land that dream job of yours? Get better at what you do and #hustle until people can’t help but notice you.

To catch anything, you usually need to cast your line. And if you’re not hooking what you want, either change your bait or cast it farther.

“Let’s say that since you were little, you always dreamed of getting a lion. And you wait, and you wait, and you wait, and you wait, but the lion doesn’t come. And along comes a giraffe. You can be alone, or you can be with the giraffe…”

So, what do you do?