What I Mean When I Say “Love”

I do not expect you to complete me. I want you to be there to support me throughout our lives while I continue to grow and search and learn and do my best every day to complete myself.

I do not wish to complete you. You are already whole and flawed and beautifully human. Instead, I will stand steadfast by your side, an anchor to the love and safety we have created for ourselves, while you navigate the ups and downs of life.

My happiness is not created by or dependent upon you. You are a conductor, a mirror, a light in the darkness that helps me see happiness all around. You bring out in me the joy, light, and laughter I have always had within myself.

I am not accountable for your happiness. I am not capable of carrying that responsibility on my own. I am committed to sharing with you in the joys and sorrows life brings with it along the way. But I cannot make you happy. In moments of despair, I will do all that I can to show you that happiness is a choice you have to make. It is the mindset we approach life with in the brightest and darkest of times. And I will be by your side throughout it all to help you in the moments you forget that happiness is an option at all.

Our love is not a competition. There is never a winner and a loser. We are the same team. There are wins and losses, but always together. Neither of us succeeds or fails alone.

I will fail. I will make mistakes and I will hurt you. But I promise to own up to those failures. To allow them to live in the open and not hide them in fear. I will accept my failings for what they are — a part of who I am — and use them not to turn away from you or from us but to help me grow into a better and more loving person in spite of them.

You will fail. You will make mistakes and you will hurt me. But I promise to be honest with you when these times arise. To share with you my pain and insecurities even when they are caused by your own hands. I will give you every opportunity to own up to your failings and to do right by them. I will take only what time I need to heal and not a second more dwelling on the matter, refusing to live a life with you on a scoreboard marked with grudges.

I will be grateful for all the times loving you is as easy and natural as breathing. And realize that those moments are a gift and not the bar to measure everything else against. I promise to remember those times fondly when the days are hard. To use those times not as proof that things have changed, but as a guiding light back to loving you purely.

I will be someone worthy of your trust. Someone you can confide in and turn to knowing that I want what is best for you always. I will use my actions as a daily reminder that I keep you in my heart. And do my best, to show you even in the smallest of ways that you are loved.

I will trust. I will give you every benefit in the face of doubt. And do my best to not allow my own fears and judgements to be pressed on to you. To know that your love for me is rooted in kindness, that you have the best of intentions at heart and know that you love me even when I am not acting like I deserve it.

I won’t spend my days worried you’re leaving. There aren’t enough hours in a day to live an honest and full life if I allow myself to question your every move. I will believe you when you say “always” and “forever”.

I won’t take the easy way out even when the temptation feels undeniable. Even in the face of hardship and fear — you are worth fighting for. We are worth fighting for.

I will be fearless within our love. Never allowing myself to feel contained or limited by my love for you. To know that you are a part of me and will grow along side me as I strive to be all that I am capable and destined to be.

I will encourage you to grow. Even when that growth may feel like it’s taking you farther away from me. I know that there is ever expanding room for both of us to grow together. You will change and grow and evolve and I will be there helping you in the struggle and celebration of where we came from, where we are and where we are headed.