I won’t say that all tardy people are optimists, or that all optimists are tardy. But let me tell you something — there is STRONG connection.

I myself, am a tardy optimist. I’m late to basically everything, not because I don’t want to be on time, but because I always think I will be. Say I need to get to a friend’s house by 10PM — at 9PM I will assume I have time to write a little blog post, eat, and shower, all before leaving.

By the time I’ve finished the blog post it’s 9:37 instead on 9:15. I jump in the shower, which I assume will take just five minutes. But I space out in the shower and I didn’t factor in drying off and putting on clothes. Oh shit, I’m all ready to go, but it’s already 9:51.

That’s ok, I’ll leave right now. I am about to walk out the door when I realize I still haven’t eaten. I don’t have money to buy food while I’m out right now so I better eat something at home.

I open up the fridge and I only have eggs. NO BIG. Eggs are quick. Twenty minutes later I’ve finished eating my eggs and replied with the same vague words to two texts that say, “Where are you?”

“On my way.”

“You were on your way twenty minutes ago and you’re still not here.”

There’s truth in what my friend is texting me, because it’s true. I still haven’t left. I have to right the ship. The honesty ship.

“I’ll be there in five minutes.”

Honesty is tough for optimists.

The quickest the drive has ever been is eleven minutes and that was at 5AM after a rowdy thursday night. It’s saturday night and it takes me twenty-one minutes to get to his house.

Then I have to park. I keep circling around the nearest block hoping someone will pull out because I’m a positive person. Fifteen minutes later I realize it would have been quicker to park farther away.

I’m out of the car and running. Running cuts the foot travel to five minutes but makes the elevator feel even slower.

I arrive. If you haven’t done the math it’s 10:52PM. I’m a full fifty-two minutes late. Standard. No one is surprised at all.

Luckily, in all my positivity I forgot that most of the fun on saturday nights waits until after eleven to happen.

Phew.