Why toiling in obscurity is a blessing

When people get rich and famous for putting on eyeliner or playing videogames, we have to confront the idea that anyone can have a following formerly reserved for NBA players and models.

Internetting is our new low key competition. We strive for more eyeballs on our work, more followers, more subscribers, more traffic. It makes us bitter anytime we must toil in obscurity. After all, what’s so different between those YouTube sensations and us?

I’ve spent my fair share of hours refreshing profiles and waiting for numbers to go up. I constantly have to remind myself:

1. you’re farther along than you were last year
2. nothing will be more effective than just doing the work
3. obscurity is a gift

Wat…you trippin?

No, fam, I’m entirely serious. Obscurity should be a cherished friend of yours. Young projects are quite fragile and there are a thousand reasons not to do anything. In fact, not doing anything is the easiest thing in the world.

What do you get up to when no one’s watching? Glossing over anything you’d file away in the NC-17 category, perhaps you sing along to the stereo, cook regrettable desserts and make weird art. We often start off doing these things because they make us happy and are moments of pure expression. We don’t do them for acclaim. Until you can hold this fluffy sentiment as a large, shining diamond in your heart, success will likely devastate and confuse you.

How to best enjoy obscurity

Don’t be afraid to be spectacularly public

Release stuff into the world, start a blog, post stuff on Instagram. When I was learning to write essays, I started a series called Alphabet Meditations. I wrote a random essay based on every letter of the alphabet, and it took me years. Though I started out insecure and burping out tiny pedantic nonsenses, I ended having mused on interesting topics, from Mulan to X-Men to my relationship with my dog.

We’re afraid that releasing unpolished stuff will garner us public ridicule and rotten cabbages. The reality is that no one but the most extreme haters will react if the work is bad. Unless you live in a snake den, people will only let you know what they like, rather than what they don’t.

You need data to get better. Obscurity is brilliant for this, as you can release publicly and get qualitative data from a few people, rather than a firehose of judgement.

Don’t chase fame

Marketing and business are sometimes games we have to play to get the things we’ve made seen. Still, it’s all too easy to get all cocooned up in the you-preneurial web of tactical goodies, the email wall pop-ups and the perfectly timed Tweets.

We live in a world of consequences. If you lived a life where you truly only prioritized money and fame, you would have to make decisions that undercut your familial, social and creative life.

(Actually, I believe they made a movie about that. Oh, Leo.)

I saw this all the time at startups. Someone would set a goal, like increase signups by 5%. If there wasn’t a voice of reason on the team, by the end of the project people would be making buttons obnoxiously large or blocking all of the content until a user gave up and signed up.

Metrics are evidence. They’re an indication that what you’re doing is interesting and resonates with people. The longterm benefit of creating useful products is a way more sustainable and human strategy, versus tricking or forcing people into ticking up your numbers.

It’s totally fair to engage in A/B tests and Google analytics. But don’t get consumed by that game. Use data to track how you’re doing, not as your primary goal.

Remember you’re not alone

The most public stories of success seem so glamorous. Teenagers founding zillion dollar companies, models getting discovered walking dogs. We don’t tend to glamorize the most common stories of success: years of toiling under the radar.

Here are a few to remember when times get tough:

Ang Lee has won the Academy Award for Best Director twice. His films are some of the most beautiful I’ve ever seen. At 30, he was doing the housework and his family lived on his wife’s meager biologist’s salary. Imagine if he had indeed given up and taken computer classes at his community college instead of making Lust Caution, Life of Pi or Brokeback Mountain.

Elizabeth Gilbert’s international bestseller Eat Pray Love has sold over 10 million copies in over 30 languages. She was 37 and had been writing for over a decade, working as a diner waitress and fielding rejection letter after rejection letter.

J.K. Rowling was a single mother living in Edinburgh. When she got her first rejection, she was upset that she didn’t get the folder she sent the manuscript in back, because she could hardly afford to buy another one. She quips, “I now have over a million folders, all made of costly silks, each one hand-gilded by artisans in Paris.”

The big picture

Maybe you’re a totally generous spirit wafting around the Earth. Chances are you’re some spectrum of an ungrateful lil pooper like me. 🙃 It’s an accomplishment to crest a hill, but it feels great to be able to look behind you and see a long, beloved trail. Try to enjoy the struggle; the discomfort tells you you’re still alive.

I’ve seen many people hit initial notes of success with a combination of luck and hard work, but as a general rule, visibility without hard work is fleeting at best. We’re building little empires, not flashes in the pan.

Where are you in your journey?