300 times a day… Intro to life with anxiety, depression and OCD

My toes start tapping, I feel a rush of panic. It starts at the base of my legs, spreads up my body, through my shoulders. A deep gasp… Ouch, this shit literally hurts. My neck and jaw aches. I want to hunch over. Ok ignore it, and get back to what I need to do right now. Stare at the computer, another rush of panic shoots up my legs. I feel disappointment. Why am I feeling like this? I feel horrible about myself. Panicking again. What can I do to decrease this agony??… Can’t focus… It’s getting harder to breathe. Oh yea, focus on my breathe. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Better. Now I need a distraction. Grab my phone, check emails, Instagram ect… I realize I’m not being productive with my time. Here comes the rush again. Just breathe, allow myself a moment to repair. It’s ok, this too shall pass.

Anxiety is disruptive. It’s rude and ruthless. It’s real, as real as cancer. Not just a symptom, an actual disease. Like many diseases, it can be managed and sometimes heal. I want to be healed. I want to live my life without anxiety. Some days all I can do is breathe, and remind myself to focus on my breathe. Other days, I manage my anxiety very well. I continue to learn about anxiety, compile lists of disease fighting habits, and implement them in my life. I’ve noticed, that, the more I try, the more I thrive. I want to write about my victory. I want to help others celebrate their victories. Life’s too short to be spent anxious. I want to help a million people. I want my story of triumph and perseverance, to inspire someone else to keep pushing. Keep learning. Keep talking. Keep healing, even if it’s one single breath at a time.

Welcome to my journey.