Carpet Beetles
Bite.
Ron started up a store in Ulladulla
And sold rugs, mats and carpets by the score
He’d no sooner get in a new shipment
Then they’d be gone, and he had to order more
He imported his carpets from overseas
And only paid a pittance for the privilege
He pocketed the profits and made a motza
And told his mate Ray it was above board and ridgy didge
One day he sold some merchandise to his mate Ray
A rug sale he would very soon regret
Ray placed it in a basket for his cat
And then had to take the critter to the vet
Doctor Dave diagnosed his cat had been bitten
By a rare strain of carpet bug
And it didn’t take a store detective
To work out, it came from Ron’s rug
Ron was a practical person
A gentleman and an honourable businessman
He paid Ray crate loads of compensation
And relegated the rug to a trash can
Ron now fumigates his carpets
Then sprays them all with a eucalyptus perfume
So all his Aussie customers are satisfied
And smell the Australian Bush in every room
Even though carpet beetles bite
There are none around since Ron’s given them the gun
Ray’s moggy is all smiles, and Ray now has piles and piles
To spend giving the carpet beetles the run
©
David Rudder
2015
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