Practical Jokes
Are not always funny.
I once knew a man
Who we knew was inhibited?
And to say a dirty word.
It was strictly prohibited.
He wouldn’t even say
Bloody or get stuffed, you sod
For fear he’d be seared
By almighty God.
He’d never burp or pass wind.
Or do anything rude
And was careful to never
Be caught in the nude.
When sleeping at night
If he’d wake from a dream
He’d chastise himself
If it had been obscene.
One day at his work
His mates formed a huddle
And worked out a new way
To cause him some trouble.
And seeing this man
He was such a prudish bore
They conspired to have him
Be served up for a little bit more.
He’d never had drugs.
Drank grog or a smoke
He was a completely pure
And unadulterated bloke.
So, at the office party.
They replaced the lemonade.
By another glass of drink
It would make the poor man fade.
He drank it all down.
Not knowing it was mixed.
With straight Gin and lemon
To get him transfixed.
His head spun around.
And he lurched to the door.
But came up short
And he landed upon the floor.
His mates then lifted him.
Gently up onto a bed
Then the nurse loosened his clothes
It filled his head with dread.
With her fingers, she did things.
That sent him crazy
Till his head exploded
Before, he went hazy.
When he finally woke
Up in an hour or two
He was in a bra
And fancy too, too.
As mad as a hornet
He wanted revenge
For this practical joke
He’d most surely avenge.
He burst into the room.
Where the party was raging
Screaming out loud
And ranting and raving.
He looked so absurd
Dressed up as a fairy
Particularly as he was
So very hairy.
The moral to this story
Is that if you’re a prude
You’d be far better off
Being a little bit rude.
A little bit of frivolity
It is better than none
And always makes life
A whole lot more fun.
The moral of this story has no glory.
What may seem like a practical joke
It cannot be kind and may fuel
The way it broke this bloke.
©
David Rudder
2019
Thanks for reading.
Disclaimer. This satire is a writing exercise of pure imagination.
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