Have a Little Caulk?

Sunshine Zombiegirl
Feb 27 · 2 min read

When twelve inches of bright white caulk does the job.

Author Picture with “tiny helping hands” Dec 2019

The odyssey of DIY house fixing remains on my plate as I finish up the last four rooms of my big house. Yes, there’s finally a light at the end of the tunnel, and it’s the sweet sweet light of a tiny house.

A month ago, I purchased a case of caulk. I ripped into the cardboard box of twelve and cackled maniacally while rubbing my hands together. Cutting off the end of caulk is a cathartic experience and slipping the tube into the dispenser makes me feel like the master of my own reality every time.

That is until I realize just how many miles of caulk I have to lay down.

Trim, windows, doors, sinks, showers, and tubs are all prime candidates for caulking. One window alone required nearly ninety linear feet of caulk. I used less than half a bottle of caulk, but for the purposes of brevity, you can use your imagination.

Squirt. Smear. Squirt. Smear. Wipe hands onto pants. Rinse, repeat. Over and over and over.

Again and again, until my caulking experience levels reach levels of legendary usage. In fact, I believe I can claim that I’ve handled a lot more caulk than men born with one.

I’ve already used up the entire case I bought. Let’s just say that I’ve got a lot of gaps to fill.

Can one tire of caulking? Absolutely. I’ve turned the corner of indecent for the amount of caulk I handle on a nearly daily basis. No hole is too small (though a lot are too big) to seal.

Therein lies the biggest problem. I might be a caulk addict. I can’t stop myself from looking for places to put caulk. I need more caulk. A lot more. I’ve used so much caulk that even S.S. noticed and pointed out that I might want to lay off the caulk a little.

And I will. I can totally give up caulking at any time. It’s not like I enjoy chemical scents or ripping sticky white goo off my arms in overzealous moments where I forget where I’ve caulked.

I’ll stop when I’m good and ready. But I need to fill that little hole over there, first.

Author’s Picture: The magic of caulk, Feb 2020

Life’s Funny

Documenting life’s absurdities.

Sunshine Zombiegirl

Written by

Existential editor. Mostly alive sort of undead, jack of all trades, master of none, but better than a master of one. AKA Kate sunshinezombiegirl@protonmail.com

Life’s Funny

Documenting life’s absurdities. Life IS funny, but not always in a “haha” kind of way :) Let’s hear your stories!

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