These Food Vendors Loved Talking Dirty To Me
By Mason R. Wenzel
When the gazelle population rises in the Serengeti, it’s the lioness’s job to bring it down. She will stalk an unassuming gazelle through the brush and attack when it least expects her. She’ll sink her teeth through its hide, tearing flesh and bone in the process.
Her methods, however gruesome, are essential to the Serengeti’s ecosystem. The lioness and the gazelle cannot exist without the other.
Sixth Street in Austin, Texas, is an ecosystem in its own right. Food vendors, like the lioness, play a vital role in balancing the ecosystem against the rising intoxication of Sixth Street’s visitors.
Bars with neon signs and plastic-cupped drinks line the famous street. These bars are frequented by tourists, bachelorette parties, and locals looking for late-night fun.
Promoters with over-gelled hair approach you, incessantly mentioning whatever shot deal or discounted beers their bar offers. Apocalyptic lipstick, faux gold chains, and bad attitudes adorn those who wander the street.
The alcohol flows as fast as the grime and filth builds on the asphalt. Sixth Street, also known as Dirty Sixth, gets its name from, well, being dirty.
The floors are soaked with spilled drinks and perspiration. The air casts a scent of wet cigarettes and gas station cologne. And there’s a certain humidity that coats your skin which can only be scrubbed out in a hot shower.
Dirty Sixth is filthy. And boy, do we love it for that.
But all this booze takes a toll. If there’s no food in your stomach when you drink, then alcohol absorbs into your blood faster.
Food reduces peak blood alcohol content in two ways according to Getsobar: by decreasing absorption and enhancing liver inactivation.
Food slows down alcohol getting into your small intestine, which decreases absorption into your bloodstream. And it turns your liver on, allowing it to process the alcohol already in your blood.
An estimated six people die of alcohol poisoning each day. So, it’s imperative to have some food on hand to fight back against the effects of alcohol.
Roppolo’s Pizzeria has been one of those fighters for more than 25 years.
“It’s the closest thing to a New York pizza,” said C.J. Oyakhire, a seven-year employee at Roppolo’s. “It’s damn good pizza.”
A slice from Roppolo’s is served warm on a paper plate. Pepperoni grease oozed down the cracks of my knuckles when I took a bite. It was crispy on the bottom, and the cheese didn’t put up much of a fight.
It’s an honest slice. It doesn’t parade itself around with gimmicks. There was dough, sauce, cheese, a little pepperoni, and a lot of oil. It lets you keep one hand free so as not to impede your drinking. And above all else, it fills you up.
A slice of pepperoni at Roppolo’s will cost you around $5.50 — a far cry from the now-extinct dollar slices in New York City a Roppolo’s slice is inspired by.
But convenience is baked into their price. Roppolo’s is smack in the middle of Dirty Sixth. If you get hungry between bars, it’s right there waiting for you.
Dirty Sixth brings in millions of dollars to Austin every year. It takes a well-fed work force to keep the machine running.
Axa Pena, an employee at Lit Lounge, frequents Gyro Express before every shift.
“This is the best food truck Sixth Street has,” said Pena. “The food is delicious. They’ve never failed to be really yummy.”
Gyro Express serves up a selection of halal food, like a lamb or chicken plate over rice, and gyros of course. The meat cooks on a rotisserie.
Should you order a plate, thin slices are cut once the outer layer of meat is cooked. It’s then garnished with a white yogurt-based sauce and a red harissa-based sauce.
Gyro Express also offers a hot dog. It comes dressed with ketchup and mustard, as well as some sliced lettuce to make sure you get your daily vegetable intake.
It only takes one man to operate the tiny food stand. It’s cramped, and smoke and steam from the sizzling hock of rotating meat regularly billows into his face.
Although small, Gyro Express contributes to keeping Dirty Sixth running.
Dirty Sixth is home to more than just savory dining options. Voodoo Doughnuts, a Portland-based doughnut shop chain with locations across the country, has a Dirty Sixth location open until 3 a.m. every night.
The shop is well-lit and quiet, a whiplash-contrast from the dark and raucous street.
A spinning-wheel showcases the ridiculous doughnut options they offer. Want a doughnut with a still-wrapped Double Bubble gum wad? Knock yourself out. Voodoo has never been known for making classic doughnut styles.
They made their name by being weird.
The Homer, a pink-icing doughnut with sprinkles, is about the tamest one they offer.
It’s denser than your traditional doughnut. The inside resembles a cake. The icing was smooth rather than crispy. It was good, but maybe not worth the $3 I paid.
Being dirty is part of the appeal of Dirty Sixth. The grungy, disheveled aesthetic is welcoming to some. Dirty Sixth features a colorful cast of characters, from eccentric street performers to older folks reliving their glory days.
It’s hard to feel out of place when people are unashamedly themselves. Other nightlife scenes in Austin, like Rainey Street or South Congress, are fine. But the gentrification and overpriced drinks are hard to ignore.
Despite all the growth that’s gone down in Austin, Dirty Sixth remains largely untouched. The buildings haven’t changed much. The prices have remained reasonable.
And the street is dirtier than ever.
