Dear Younger Me…
Dear Younger Me,
I am writing this letter to let you know how far we’ve come after about nine years. Being a 16-year-old in 2015 was one of the most challenging years of your life, but I am proud to let you know that you survived it and thrived in the years to come.
At this time, you had just passed the Nursing Admission Test and your nerve-wracking interview at your dream university. You were eager to start your university life as a new nursing student at Dad's alma mater. You were excited, fearless, and nervous at the same time, but you were full of hope and determination. You planned to finish nursing school in four years, pass the licensure examinations, go to med school, and become the doctor/pediatrician you had always dreamed of being. That was the plan, right?
But little did you know, life has a funny way of turning things around and everything upside down in the blink of an eye.
The first few months were a new but interesting experience for you. You made many new friends and encountered a whole new culture since this was your first time in a traditional classroom setting after being homeschooled for most of your life. This was also your first time being separated from your family, as they were in Cambodia and you were in the Philippines. You may not have been feeling homesick yet, but the struggles you would encounter in the months to come would make you wish you were home and safe with your loved ones.
As the months went by, you started to realize that things were not as easy as you thought they would be. Quizzes and homework every day, encountering completely new concepts in college algebra and biochemistry, having to write essays in a language almost foreign to you... All of these things slowly caused you stress and anxiety, and you unknowingly slipped into the deepest and darkest depression, which would last for months.
December of 2015 was an unexpected twist in your life. That was the time when your mental health gave way, and you had to quit school and fly back to Cambodia to be with your family while you healed and recovered for six months. It was a painful and jarring journey for you and the whole family. But with their loving help and support, and after months of therapy, you were ready to re-enter the real world and pursue a bachelor of arts degree in English. You excelled in activities like campus journalism and even participated in film festivals/contests. You redeemed yourself and unexpectedly finished this degree in three years without delay, and even pursued a Master's in English teaching.
Fast forward to the present, you are now 25, discovering and pursuing your calling as an educator, teaching primary level kids English at an international school in Phnom Penh. It may seem like we've strayed so far from our original plans, but I believe everything happens for a reason. I know hearing all these things may terrify you, but just so you know... we did not only survive all those obstacles but actually thrived in our own unique ways. And looking back, I wouldn't change a thing.
You will encounter more things in the next few years. Like traveling to distant countries, losing a close family member, falling in love, getting your heart broken and learning to love again, making awful mistakes, messing up, and hurting others...
You may feel lost in this world (especially after graduation), and may go through identity crises or more mental health issues... but all those experiences will be worth it, and you will come to a point when you can actually look back and be grateful that you went through all those things. Because I am. Grateful. Happy. Content. Fulfilled.
And you may not always feel those things, but that's okay. You'll have good days and bad days, but you will grow and be wiser as you experience life and live it to the fullest.
I can't wait to see what God has in store for our future. But I know it's going to be good, because He has always been faithful. I'm glad you didn't let go of your faith when all those hardships came. I'm sure life will bring more of them someday, but I hope to write my next letter to my younger self with news of more victories and triumphs despite all the pain and darkness life may occasionally bring.
Love,
Your older, wiser self
