THE COACH WITHIN
There is always this voice within us that we talk with. Have you ever had to soliloquize in the face of a challenge? Sometimes we take on the semblance of a mad person because we get into audible conversations with ourselves.
Who or what is it that we talk to? Ourselves you may say, at least, that is what the definition of the word soliloquy suggests. For the sake of this writing, I would refer to another person with whom we engage with. A coach that resides on our inside.
Just like the football coach, his job is to constantly give feedback and engage us. In the face of good performance, he would cheer and jeer but in on the bad days, it either knocks us back into shape or dampens our morale by heaping blames and accusations.
GOOD COACHES/ BAD COACHES
Some coaches are phenomenal. They understand the psychological build up of the players by merely looking at them. They can turn an average player into a star. Good coaches make world class sportsmen. They understand the importance of motivation-you know those half time team talks that can turn things around when you think all is lost. It becomes the responsibility of the coach to keep the players looking on the bright side, even when they have just received the beatings of their life. Focus on the next game and try to win. Move on, keep going.
But what happens when the coach gives up. What happens when he points accusing fingers at the players and publicly vindicates himself and his tactics while donating the players to the press for slaughtering. You just know things will get worse.
Life is a game, a sport of some sort. You find yourself learning the skills to fit into the team at all times. The home team, church team, school team, workplace team etc. Sometimes you end up the Most Valuable player, sometimes you don’t. A few times you could be handed a role u feel not prepared to handle, other times you could be basking in your natural position. Low moments also come along. Moments when you feel you let the team down, like you are the weak link and not just good enough. Whatever conditions you find yourself, there is always a coach and I am most interested in the one that resides within us.
We are responsible for our lives and how things turn out. We cannot always apportion blames to other things and people. We fail ourselves when we do this. We lose when we allow external factors toss us around and remote-control our reactions.
The voice that engages us in conversations in our minds is our coach- a virtual version of ourselves. This coach is always around to lay strategies, conceive new tactics, motivate and sometimes discourage us. It is our responsibility to train and groom this coach for the times it would show up.
The things you read, meditate upon and focus on become the training materials for the coach that lies within. Everything we consume informs that inner person of our preferences, thought patterns, interests and behavior. He feeds off these things and uses it to provide feedback whenever there is need.
Napoleon Hill in his book “Think and Grow Rich” talks of auto suggestion. Using repetition and affirmations to send signals to the subconscious mind. Once the subconscious becomes infused with either positive or negative content, it then becomes an antenna that attracts the things that agree with the content. The same goes for this coach that resides within. It uses what we take in to talk back at us when its time for that conversation.
You could take a break now and evaluate the nature of your inner dialogues. Do you drown in negativity or kick into action in the face of challenges?
Proverbs 4 vs 23(KJV)-Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
TAKE TRASH OUT
I found this technique of Taking Trash Out in Keith Harrel’s “Attitude is Everything”. When negativity comes creeping in, take it out like trash, immediately. But you have to arm your coach with the right content and materials such as could be found in the bible and great books. Look beyond what you see around you. Develop an attitude that reflects on where you are heading and not where you are or have been. Only look at where you are or have been for lessons and not for alibis and excuses.
EVENTS AND RESPONSES
Your inner coach should know that failure and temporary defeats are not signals to give up. When this is the case, it will present new strategies and summon your faculties to construct new plans, better plans.
Problems, struggles, bad days and losses will always come around. These are events in the journey of life. The good thing is that these events on their own do not control the outcomes. Our response to the events of life together with these events determine the final outcomes-whether we win or lose.
I will leave you with this formula I found in Jack Canfield’s book -“How to Get From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be”
E(events) + R(responses) = O(outcomes)
Your inner coach conducts the responses. Take the responsibility to train and arm your inner person and your responses will be such that will keep you on your feet.
The only limitations that exist to the mind are those we admit.