Worrying about your constant worrying?
Here’s how you stop this spiral of worries.
Everyone of us worry about something or the other in our day to day lives and most of us identify “worrying about something,” as “caring about it”. Although true to some extent, there is a difference between ‘positive worrying’ let’s call it concern and worrying that has spiralled out of control usually classified as ‘anxiety’.
Our worries are supposed to motivate us and drive us towards achieving our goals. Positive concern usually promotes constructive actions. Constant worrying on the other hand is driven out of fear and becomes a barrier in achieving goals. It often paralyses a person as they fall in this spiral of worry, where they imagine the worst that can happen in every situation and then worry about how much time they have wasted worrying about it. This spiral of worrying about your worries starts controlling their lives and causes them even more anxiety.
So, the very next question that pops into your mind is, How do I stop this spiral of constant worrying? While it is impossible to get rid of worrying completely, we can stop it from having a negative impact on our lives.
Worrying, just like any other feeling is neither good or bad. It starts with a thought and what we choose to do with it later, depends on us. How long do you hold on to it and how much importance you give it is what determines how it affects your daily life. It might sound like a simple process but when you actually try to break out of the spiral of worrying, it might feel difficult.
The most important lesson you need to remember when trying to manage your worriers is, you should not try to validate every thought the comes in your mind. Our mind tries to make sense of the many things happening in our day to day lives and sometimes that leads to our brain making up stories.
Rather then trying to make sense of your assumptions, try to question your worries. This will help you arrive to actions that are productive in your daily life. Another way to deal with your worries is to distract yourself from the negative thoughts and concentrate on an alternative activities. Exercise, meditation, painting etc. are some activities that therapists recommend based on a person’s interests and hobbies.
Research also shows that instead of worrying about every negative thought that pops is your head throughout the day, you should try shelving those thoughts and setting aside a time to deal with your daily worries. In this time evaluate your worries and try to develop a solution for handling that worry in future. Practising this technique will help you learn how to restructure your worries and in future you will be able to do it in real time.
A common mistake that a lot of us make in order to deal with our constant worrying is avoiding people and situations that make us anxious. This might seem helpful in the moment but in the long run it breeds more worries and makes you more anxious. Research shows that the more you face your fears, your anxiety decreases over time. This process of facing your fears requires practice but understanding how unhealthy your anxious thoughts are for you, is a big step towards breaking the spiral of worries.
Another common and very unhealthy mistake we all make is beating ourselves up for feeling anxious. When you start not just constantly worrying, but worrying about how much time you wasted on an imaginary negative thought, it makes you feel worse about yourself. In situations like these, when you notice that you are falling in a spiral of worries, it helps to advice yourself the same way you will advice a loved one. Being kind to yourself and reminding yourself that you are doing the best you can is the more constructive way to look at the situation than constantly trying to defeat your worries and obsessing over it.
Being compassionate towards yourself and practicing techniques that help you restructure your worries will eventually help you take back control in your life and break the spiral of worrying about your worries.
