Just Pay the Government to Take Your Data

The Perfect Pitch, To A Captive Audience

“But their line has seven agents, ours has zero!”

The increasingly frustrated passenger was pointing to the equally long line for non-citizens waiting to have their passports checked at the airport. He was trying to explain to the U.S. Customs and Border Patrol agent walking by that it doesn’t matter how much faster the process is for U.S. and Canadian citizens. With no agent, it’s going to move pretty slow.

“Don’t worry, he’ll be back,” the agent replied. “Did you know there is a program that allows you to avoid this line entirely? You can simply check yourself through at one of our kiosks over there.”

It was the perfect pitch, at the perfect time. Something you don’t usually hear from a guy wearing a uniform and a gun on his hip. The line of passengers were already three hours behind schedule. Their flight had been delayed, and after more than 10 hours in the air, the last thing they wanted to see was the only customs agent who had been processing their passports, get up and leave. Gasps of disbelief and murmurings about “what a total joke” the process was were not missed by the CBP pitchman.

“We’re all trying to get by with what we have, you know the government is cutting back right now,” he tried to explain.

The agent was actually doing a decent job of diffusing the anger. He had a smile on his face and his lines about the Global Entry program had the frustrated passengers snapping up the brochures. Some wondered why he couldn’t just put down the brochures and check passports himself. But as he quickly ran out of the glossy handouts, it was apparent the sales job was working. With Global Entry he explained, you simply step up to the kiosk, insert your passport, have your fingerprint scanned and your done. Oh, and it costs just $100 to be in the Global Entry program for five years.

It’s hard not to miss the convenient circumstances that has put airline passengers in the position where they are eager to pay the government so they can volunteer personal information in an interview, add to a traveler database, and a scan of their biometric data. After all, if there were more agents (or at least one), the lines at the airport might move much quicker. And if you’re moving quickly through line after a long transatlantic flight, there isn’t as much incentive to apply and pay $100 so the government can know more about you.

With all the data, metadata and biometric data already gathered by both voluntary and involuntary means, perhaps it’s worth it to add a few more (dozen, hundred, thousand?) data points in order to avoid the long lines when returning from overseas. More than a million people have signed up for Global Entry already. Another 50,000 are applying every month. It begs the question of what will happen when the long lines form at the kiosk. If that happens, there won’t be an AWOL agent to blame, just the same person who can’t figure out how to use the card swipe machine at the grocery store.

What will the next pitch be? How can we volunteer more data and find a shorter line home?