What You Need Isn’t What You Think You Need

Almost a year ago, I had an intuitive reading done. Depending on who does your reading, how clear you are on your question and other factors, these readings can be spot on or they can be wildly off-base — or at least, seem that way at first.

Mine, in this instance, was spot on. There was plenty that she told me that resonated and held true. There was one thing that was completely unexpected and yet, as soon as the words were out there, I knew they were true.

What You Need Isn’t What YouThink You Need

Those weren’t the exact words used, but they convey the meaning. And it gave me a totally different outlook on so many things in my life, even beyond the initial question I’d asked for the reading.

We often think we know what we need. We ask, or even demand, it of the universe, certain that we know precisely what we need. And if we just get that thing we need, we’ll be happier, calmer, wealthier, healthier, or whatever.

Sometimes this is true. We do know what we need, and if we could get it, we would be any or all of those things.

But sometimes, we don’t actually have the first clue what we really need.

Let Go of What You Think You Need

We know that if we put our desires out there, we can make them happen — if they’re meant to be. But sometimes they’re not meant to be and by clinging to them, we prevent what really is meant for us. We find ourselves stuck, frustrated and sometimes even downright miserable because we’re trying to force something that simply isn’t meant to be for us.

I’ve had it happen to me in many ways — career, relationships, parenting, and life in general. And every time, as soon as I let go of what I thought I needed, I got what I actually needed. It often led me to places and things I didn’t think I wanted or didn’t expect, like my divorce or homeschooling my kids. But every time, I got exactly what I needed by letting go of what I thought I needed.

It can be hard to let go. You sincerely believe that what you think you need is what you need. Being told to let go of it can feel like being told to stop breathing. Actually trying to let go can feel like you’re suffocating.

But the rewards are beyond worth it. When you stop clinging to something that isn’t right for you, you free yourself up for what is right.

The Best Things Often Come Unexpectedly

By letting go of the things I thought I needed and just letting what I truly needed come to me, I got everything I ever wanted. I found myself starting my own business. Then, I found myself changing direction in that business and quickly gaining clients. I was given the information I needed to realize that a relationship I was in was abusive and toxic, and found the strength to leave it.

By not clinging to things not meant for me, I created the life I’d always dreamed of. It’s not perfect, and there are still things that need improvement. But it’s a far cry from where and who I was sixteen years ago, feeling trapped in an unhappy and unhealthy marriage. It’s a far cry from where and who I was fifteen years ago, when I was in the midst of my divorce, pregnant with a toddler and no job, and with no clue what would happen next. And it’s different than where I was even just a year ago, when I thought I might spend the rest of my life in a relationship that wasn’t quite right but I couldn’t quite explain why it was wrong, either.

If there’s something that you’ve been trying to make happen that just doesn’t seem to be coming together for you, try letting go of it. Let go of the idea of it as you’ve seen it all this time. Tell yourself that if it’s meant to be, it’ll happen. The way to make it happen will come to you on its own. Try going after other dreams, other plans or goals, and let go of any preconceived ideas of how those should turn out, too.

What have you been clinging to? What immediately comes to mind when you think of something you think you need?



Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store