Perfection Does Not Exist
What I have learnt about healthy productivity over the years ❤
Consistency had been my life’s crucible, and in many ways, a stone to wear myself away on. It is a dream of productivity I chased since I was eleven, though I didn’t even recognise the word then. But the passion for realising my dreams and becoming my best self has never left me.
Now as golden hued and noble as this sounds, it actually brought about a great amount of pressure-sown anxiety and fearful sadness into my life. Many of my teenage years went by being obsessed with perfectionism and infallible productivity, which you will realise, is a dangerous worldview to have. I relentlessly analysed my working patterns, pushed myself and worked towards accepting the one truth that proved difficult for me to believe: I actually enjoy work. But not hard work. This is tricky to understand, but it echoes the same moral as the famous story of the hare and the turtle.
I somehow couldn’t make my mind believe that I was doing enough for a long time. It made my self esteem flutter brokenly like scattered cornflakes. One’s core beliefs also create and shape one’s thoughts, actions and circumstances. So I was also starting to feel myself trapped in a hamster wheel that spun in the familiar cycle of up and down, but never brought me to a stable shore, always leaving me crashing in the waves of intense emotions.
If you have ever struggled like me, I hope the following ideas might help you see things in a new light.
Don’t Focus on Consistency. Focus on Resilience.
We mistakenly strive towards productivity as a golden ideal. Have you ever imagined the perfect day? Waking up at exactly 5 am, meditating, working out? Eating right, getting work that actually matters to you done? Bonding with the family and going out with friends?
This picture in my head was made up of perfectly sliced halves of the day, work finishing exactly when I expected it to, and going about it all wearing an annoyingly patronising smile on my face. Like some sort of Distraction Fighting Yoda. Face palm.
Life is so long winded and endlessly detailed, it’s impossible for it to be perfect. Think of 24 hours repeating over weeks and months, 365 days a year, over a lifetime that’s decades long. Not only would you bore your own head off being ‘perfect’ — you’d be miserable. New currents of changes and fresh developments happen every time you wake up in the morning, so how can you expect the same droning standard out of yourself everyday?
Beware, if you imagine consistency as a golden ideal of perfect timelines and endless toil. Real resilience is more considerate, mindful and kind. It is more aware of situations and circumstance. It considers your mental, emotional and physical health. Most importantly, it is not the least bit self-dissing when you want a break. Isn’t that awesome?
Your Self Worth is Rooted Within You, Not Your Work
Reading the earliest parts of April’s journals, I noticed how earnest my voice sounded. Whenever the day went off track or something unexpected happened, I’d give a philosophical, motivational speech to myself. As the weeks rolled by, I was settling into being cheerier, more informal and funnier. Instead of the speech, I cracked a joke.
Being in a low mood colours the world black and blue, and distorts your judgement of yourself. In the months I was down, I thought my real self had completely disappeared from within me. But reading over my words, I was still all there inside. The happiness was there. We wrongly believe that we’ve become unworthy of love if we’re not productive or where ‘we should be’ or unhappy. The goodness always remains within. No matter how dark the storm gets, who we are cannot be washed away.
Shun Pressure & Perfectionism. Trust Yourself. Take One Step A Day. (Even No Steps a Day If You Need Rest!)
In a life that proves that change is the only constant, you require a timeless, internal belief. A sense of security that is not rooted in anything you’ve accomplished or dream of is key. Any person who lives goes through the troubles and joys of doing so. No matter what happened or will happen, trust that you have the strength to face it.
Pressure & perfectionsim are like two extremes of life’s compass. You want to avoid both and stay balanced and steady. This helps you live as you should, calmly and with happiness, because life is long and the ones who are hard on themselves will burn out fast. One step at a time, one breath in a moment and gratitude for life is all you need.
