I’m Stranded In The Desert, But It’s Such A Nice Day!

A Kalahari Air testimonial

We were flying over the Kalahari when our plane crashed. Taylor Swift. Eras tour. Trying to catch the last of her Southern African leg. We never made the show. I was the only survivor. We lost a lot of good Swifties on that flight, and now I’m here — stuck in the desert, alone.

Trapped by sand dunes…

Scorpions…

The sweltering sun. It’s so damn hot.

I’m completely helpless. I have mere hours left to live. Water supply is non existent. The Kalahari Air peanuts surplus is gone. That undiagnosed mole on my back still haunts me, but what weather we’re having!

You simply don’t get sunny days like this back home. Nope, it’s all rain and cloud. Not here though, in the Kalahari. Not a cloud in sight. Not one damn cloud. Perfect day-drinking weather. Yep, Saturday afternoon. All your chores are done. Kick the feet up with a Marg, throw on some Midnights or Reputation, and soak up that rapturous Kalahari UV. This is why we do it, for days like this.

Yep, not one cloud in sight.

Not one damn cloud.

Wouldn’t mind some shade if I’m being honest. Not that I don’t appreciate the gorgeous weather, I do! Can’t complain when the sun’s out and that’s just a fact of life.

Wouldn’t mind some water either.

Yep some hydration. Again, not complaining! Apart from water, shade and food, the desert has it all — sun! Everyone back home would be so jealous I’m getting all this nice weather.

The thing about back home in the comfort of my regular life, and not in the desert, is that sure — I can go grab a drink whenever I feel like it, and yes, there’s a surplus of shade, but I tell you what, the sun just doesn’t have the same debilitating, enfeebling and weakening impact. And that’s what I’m looking for in my life… incapacitating impact.

I tell ya, when the suns out, you just feel better. There’s a hop in your step you simply don’t get when it’s overcast. Immediately I’m back on top. On my A-game. Feeling good and even looking good with my new tan (once I go through the severe stages of burn).

Yep, the desert has it all. Everything but water and shade. Non-essentials I say. It does make you appreciate those non-essentials though. Non-essentials like water, food and minimal cloud coverage.

Damn it’s hot. I just saw a scorpion. But the suns out and vibes are high. Pair this weather with a daiquiri and we’re in business. Not here though, no daiquiri’s as far as the eye can see. And my vision is fleeting.

I may be stranded in the desert, but you really need to take the wins when you can — and today is just too nice of a day to be concerned by survival. Survival is a state of mind, and my mind is in bliss with this hot, hot, hot, scorching hot weather!

Man I love these sunny days. It’s like being on holiday in the South of France, along some coastal oasis near Nice except in the desert away from Nice and in actual fact closer to a type of semi-arid sandy savanna in Southern Africa that extends for oh, I don’t know some 900,000 square kilometres and covers much of Botswana, as well as parts of Namibia and South Africa. Yep, a true authentic holiday experience. One where no one can hear you scream and you’re really, really hot without any chance of respite. But what a beautiful day!