My Car Advert

Also works for perfume commercials…

A small child. The Pyrenees. Winter. A deer in the distance perched behind a large oak. Oak? In the Pyrenees, don’t be absurd! That’s Audi. Different. The dear startles. Disappears back into the white powder of the snow. White powder. What the engineers were on when designing the new Q8. Back to the child. They stand. They’re wearing a red raincoat. Red riding hood. The hood of the car is red. That’s symbolism. Turning. The child is called. A father. Their father. Enough playtime. Audi don’t play. An eagle soars. We’re in the Rockies now. Alberta to be exact. Precision is Audi. Where’s the child? No longer a child. Grown. Moments. Life is but moments. Seize the moment, buy an Audi. Before you know it we’re in Japan. Osaka. The streets. A cricket chirps on top of an origami crane. Life is beautiful. Beautifully engineered. Audi. We’re only 20 seconds into our one minute advert. Let’s get abstract. Shapes. A square, eaten by a triangle. Not just any triangle — a Dorito. Cross promotion. Audi — versatile. The square’s regurgitated but comes out as a cube. Taking the 2D to the 3D. Cut to. We’re in space. Not outer space. Inner space. White walls. Paint cannons. Blues, reds, oranges, all over the white. Audi. Colour. Zoom out. We’re in the eye of the child. But they weren’t a child when we were in the Rockies. Let me think. We’re floating on a piece of drift wood. Or are we back in the Pyrenees? The waves rock the wood. Instability — couldn’t be Audi. Wait, let me re-calibrate on the whole kid not a kid thing. A Great White Shark. There’s not much continuity going on with this whole thing. The fin circles. Okay we’re going to ignore the inconsistencies? The fin turns into the sail of a yacht. The Caribbean. Okay sure let’s move on, this isn’t my money. The Caribbean sun beats down on a tourist. Flight centre offers 20% off to seniors in February. Audi — a collaborator of ideas. Ideas that can take you to the Maldives with Sri Lankan Airlines — now using Audi engines. Audi — the future. Now we’re in outer space. One small step, one big step. All that. The moon. Not just any moon. This one’s made of cheese. Car ads — they’re just random like that. This cheese moon can be whatever you want. Eye of the beholder. You could have a cheddar moon, a swiss moon, a manchego moon, a creamy blue moon, a feta moon, a mozzarella moon, a gouda moon, I could go on, and I will! You could have a pecorino moon, a goats cheese moon, a gorgonzola moon, even a wacky brie moon. We run through the different moon options before an Audi drifts in the background — the pilot? Shaquille O’Neal. He’s a new sponsor. Audi — now involved in basketball. Basketball. Baskets. Balls. Ball bearings. The average Audi car uses 30,013 ball bearings we think. No one knows. There’s too many to count, just like the octopus — are there more or less octopus in the world than people? We’ll never know the answer. One of life’s mysteries. Audi — challenging reality and the ratio of humans to molluscs since 1909. Where were we? Oh yeah, in space with Shaq. Shaq’s really difficult to work with — you need everything 2.5x larger than usual — doors, Audi’s, the man eats like a garbage truck so the catering budget will blow out. Keep that in mind when budgeting for your 30 million dollar 60 second ad. 60 seconds! I guess we should start wrapping this 60 second ad up shouldn’t we? Unfortunately we’re only 48 seconds through, and we spent a lot of money pitching for 60 seconds. Let’s chew through the dying moments with a year by year time lapse of the evolution of our premiere model — the Audi Quattro. Wow would you look at the change. From its classic sports style design to its still sports style design but in the future. Audi — consistent. We fade to black, but the journey isn’t over. The small child from the beginning. Remember? The one from the Pyrenees? Winter time? A dear in the distance perched behind a large oak? Oak? In the Pyrenees, don’t be absurd? That’s Audi? Different? Remember that? Well that same small child was never there in the first place. It was really an Audi dressed as a small child. Audi — freaky.