Nicknames I Create For Things I Can’t Spell

I do this, and you probably do too.

Eddy:

The capital of Scotland. Not sure how the ‘g’ and the ‘h’ should be interacting. Edinburghurghurr — to me, this isn’t that far off how it’s actually spelt?

e.g. You going to Eddy fringe this year?

Recko:

Used when putting forward an idea to someone you believe suitable. Can’t remember if there’s two c’s or two m’s in reccommend so I usually just add in 2 of both to be safe.

e.g. I can’t recko the 2014 shiraz any higher!

Piña colada:

For when I actually want a daiquiri but don’t have google handy. I didn’t spell daiquiri just then, I copied and pasted from the internet.

e.g. I’d kill for a Piña colada right about now.

Connie:

Defined as: a term used to denote how your inner feelings act as a guide to rightness or wrongness of the behaviour. Huh? That’s a legit dictionary definition I sourced from my first google click. I’m pretty disappointed with how ambiguous it is. Anyway, I can barely spell the word conscience (again, that was a copy and paste job).

e.g. Just listen to your connie, you’ll know what to do.

Pre-Vom:

When your stomach is a bit topsy-turvy, you could say you’re suffering from a case of the pre-voms. Nauseous is really hard to spell.

e.g. Get out of the way, I’ve got a serious case of the pre-voms. Clear the room!

Post-Tuesday/Pre-Thursday:

Because Wednesdenzday is difficult occasionally.

e.g. What’re you up to post-Tuesday/pre-Thursday?

Bling-Bling:

Don’t lie, jewellery/jewelry/dualery is just as hard for you to spell as it is for me!

e.g. That bling-bling be ice on your neck my dude… [which roughly translates to, ‘nice jewellery my friend’]

Big Flying Reptile:

This one comes up all the time. Instead of trying to spell pterodactyl (again, copy and paste), I’ll say something like ‘big-flying-reptile-with-a-beak-and-a-horn-kind-of-thing.’ Makes total sense.

e.g. Man, I really love those extinct flying reptiles from the genus pterosaur. Did you know they’re only a single species and are one of the first prehistoric reptiles to be discovered? Really makes you think, huh? Anyway, one cappuccino please!

Pheb:

Let’s say this one together because it’s hard and I’m not the weird one! Also weird is hard to spell but I think I nailed it. Anyway, Phebrurary is TOUGH so I just go for Pheb. Don’t tell me it should start with an ‘F’ because why does ‘Ph’ even exist then?!

e.g. Is Valentine’s day in Pheb?… Who am I kidding…