The Story That Didn’t Serve Me

Because it wasn’t true

Keren Stanley

Yup, that’s the story! The one I’ve been telling myself for years. The one that felt safe. The one that was in the way.

Why did I have this story? Because that’s what I think of my ex. My neighbor’s husbands. My friend’s spouses. The single dads out there. A false truth I told myself. For a very, very long time.

Younger guys were easier to bond with. They were in shape. They could keep up. They seemed excited about life, enthusiastic, mindful, living with intention, and healthy. “God bless the millennials” I kept saying. But millennials have not suffered. They have not been through the deep struggles of marriage and kids and life’s curveballs yet. So they are excited about life but they haven’t been tested. I’ve had heartbreak. I’ve had ehhh, I’ve made some friends, one who left impact and will always be there. But I have not had the deep deep connection with an equal partner.

After seven years of hook-ups, dating and relationships with younger men, 
I started to crave life wisdom again. I wanted life experience. Men who had been through shit, like me, and had come out the other side, like me. Men who are not afraid of pain and can get through it and still make choices consistent with their goals.

I walked the streets of Europe just a few weeks ago, as I closed out such a completely epic year of transformation and self growth, and began to wonder…

Is it possible that there are men in their 40’s who have been tested, and have come out the other side? Do any men exist in the world who have been through hard times and woken up now, excited about life? Are there men who take their health seriously, are in shape, have great attitudes, love sex, work hard, breathe, transparency and don’t walk around saying “I need to get out of my head”? Is there anyone out there that inspires me to be a better person? Are their men who could cherish me and treat me in a way I deserve? Finally?

Of course there are.

I needed to lose my story, because I was wanted to see what was possible. I had created so much space in 2018. I wanted to now explore my space.


I got home from Europe three weeks ago. I lost my story.

And the very next day, magic happened.
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