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Avoid ‘Victim Wanna Be’ People

This kind of people are dangerous for our mental health

We are born as a social creature, no matter we are introvert or how much we avoid to be distracted from the world. Human always needs others to make their life colourful also meaningful. But life will not run smoothly. Solitude is bliss when we want to make a precious craft. But why is there a quote like this? ‘Loneliness can kill people’ or ‘Loneliness can affect our mental health’.

Sometimes we will find the obstacles then maybe some people make us upset and feeling miserable. Dead end, abandoned, guilty are the normal feelings may occur. In one case, we may be a victim but in another case that I have found is some people showing off their suffer to obtain another sympathy for their own sake.

I call the people who take advantage of another sympathy as ‘the victim wannabe’ people. It is normal to use a mask to hide our truth, but according to me, it is bad if we use it to reap many benefits without thinking about the side effect. Who is ‘the victim wannabe’? I describe it below based on my own experience.

They will praise us often than asking for many things

We like to be loved and admired. This kind of ‘the victim wannabe’ people will praise for our achievement although it is not a huge success. Slowly, they look as our supporter. Then, they start to ask our help, pretending they cannot do it alone and we will feel guilty if we want to refuse their asking. They place themselves as the one who needs helps in every single time.

Every relationship needs mutual consideration. Giving and giving is the best way to nurture our friendship, romance, and so on. If it is a one-sided relationship, it will kill someone who is in the position as a giver. The taker will get whatever they want with their selfish heart.

They are blamer

Maybe we have heard those kinds of complaint from the victim wannabe person, ”I was dumped because of her/him. She is a liar.” And “I fail because my parents never allow me to do this task. I lost my concentration to finish it properly.” A complaint is not wrong, but it becomes a problem if they invite us to hate the people who they blame. They repeat it continuously.

When we have a misunderstanding with this kind of people, they will reject to talk wisely then we will become the next wrong person. They will blame us and shouting to the crowd that we cause the troubles.

The best thing that we can do is leaving them and limit the frequency to talk or connect. But if we should work with these annoying people, be professional but keep our eye to detect their real intention. Don’t give 100% trust to them.

Hothead and selfish

The difficult thing is the victim wannabe person will never recognize that they are annoying. They think as the good one and force another to believe in their opinion. Hothead and selfish. Manipulation is their best trait.

So if you meet or knowing the three characters of the victim wannabe, please beware! It is better not to stay close. Don’t be too kind and too permissive. We can make a friend without thinking who they are, but we should know who can treat us as a good friend sincerely or not.

(Repost from my blog with some additional words)



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Reffi Dhinar

Japanese Interpreter, book author, content writer. You also can read my Indonesian article on and