My Happiness is Mine, You Can’t Force Me to Be You

Happiness is our privacy, don’t ruin others with your unnecessary comments

I shared my happiness on Instagram after I travelled to Kuala Lumpur with my best friend last week. Almost people in my friend list gave cheerful comments and we shared our travelling experience. It was a quite positive moment unless I heard somebody said, “What is the importance of travelling? I ask my daughter to not studying in university because a woman should be a housewife. Travelling or getting a degree is useless.”

This guy is one of my office partner and I already knew that he is one of the toxic man whom I avoid in my life. In a previous encounter, he was badmouthing my friend. My friend loves to cook in his house and providing a meal for his family. That toxic guy told me, “Man shouldn’t cook. It’s his wife’s duty. So what is his wife’s work at home? He is spoiling her.”

I was so mad and wanted to smash his mouth. I tried to say calmly, “As a girl, I want my future spouse doing what my friend did. His wife stays at home and raising their three kids. Keeping their home clean. Then, cooking is not about gender. Marriage is about two people work together and appreciating each other, not to change a man becomes a king and a woman becomes a slave.”

Therefore, when he said about the urgency to marry as soon as possible because I won’t be young forever, I hold my tongue and leave the stupid debate. I can not change other’s opinion, so I won’t let others ruin my happiness and dictating my life.

The Happiness Measurement

I live in a society who often bring their own life as the standard. I often find a case like this.

“I married in 25, why are you still single in 28?”

“I have bought a house, why do spend your money on travelling?”

And another foolish question that is very annoying. The society standard forces us to do the same things or the same pattern. They say if we marry at a certain age so it is the meaning of happiness, and the single person looks lonely. But, sometimes this kind of person also complain about their own life.

“I’m so upset with my kids. They always throw their toys everywhere. You are lucky because you are still single and free from any problems.”

In fact, every people has their problem. We cannot measure their life with our glasses. Having different lifestyle and purposes is not a crime. Being happy is not related with a luxurious house, marry in the right age (sorry to say, forcing to marry because we are afraid with other’s judgement is weird), or having the expensive goods. A monk who lives alone in his lovely temple can be happy. A single parent can be happy. A working mom can be happy. Don’t bring your shoes to judge someone else’s life.

Happiness is Privacy

Happiness is a private thing. You may share your happy news on social media, but are you really happy or not can’t be seen on screen. And I agree with this statement.

Everyone has their path and their own time. You may graduate in 22 but you don’t have a job in one year. You may graduate in 26 but you can run your own business.

Happiness is about personal feeling. We can share it freely without being toxic to others. Life is simple, but we make it complicated.