It’s clunky going from 2D to 3D
Prepare yourself for yet another new-world Covid-era challenge. It's about connecting with people. This one surprised me.
If you have ever been on a blind date, do you remember how awkward the first meeting was? Add to that a new twist. We are meeting people we already know well, but for the first time in-person.
The Zoom squares of talking heads have been our collective social and work existence for the past 18 months. Our beliefs around how we could only be effective in-person blew up with the lockdowns. Jetting around the world for global conferences now seems wasteful on all levels. In my work with teams and individuals, we learned new ways to build trust and engage in frank and sometimes difficult conversations. I was wrong believing this was not possible in a virtual setting.
My weekly FaceTime calls with my 2 yr old grandson became a joy and exceeded what I thought possible for bonding. True, it was mostly looking up his nose and the ceiling above him as he took me on adventures around his house. We adapted.
Now, with the world opening up, we are reconnecting in person.
I’m finding it a little strange. Are you?
I’m noticing an ambivalence in myself and in my clients about this new period of returning to work and travel. A bit like stumbling out of a dark basement into the blinding sunlight. Squinting, we are at the same time both happy about this, but also a bit reticent.
Aside from the new-normal, ever-present risks of new outbreaks and infections, there is something else. Almost a sense of shyness in the air. I will be meeting many people that I have never seen in person. Clients I have been coaching and teams I have worked with, along with various groups I joined virtually. I have started scheduling in-person meetings.
I am experiencing this weird paradox. My colleagues, clients, and Covid-era friends were the 2-dimensional talking heads in Zoom boxes. Yet, these are people I now know quite well. Trust has been built. We have done some deep work together. And yet, I’ve never seen the back of their head or know how tall they are. Does that matter? Will they be different when I see them in person? What are they really going to be like? Will they be the same person? Will we have the same kind of connection? Will they still like me?
It’s a strange mix of familiarity and stranger-ness. Our emergence into an in-person world resembles the first meeting of a match from a dating app.
Tips and advice:
- Take this slow. Don’t rush to fill your work and social calendar to the max.
- For the introverts, really titrate your engagements.
- Pay attention to any ambivalence you are feeling. I always see ambivalence as an important signal, something worth exploring. There is usually an important message or something to learn.
You could ask yourself these questions:
- What is it about meeting this person that feels the most awkward? What am I the most worried about? How realistic is this fear?
- What stands out the most that I have already learned about them and appreciate that I can bring up when we meet?
- As I re-enter the world, what do I want to preserve from these past months that I really enjoyed and that recharged me?
- What are the things I need to watch out for so as not to go on auto-pilot and get swallowed up by living at the previous speed of life?
- Are there things I want to change, start or stop doing?
If you do find yourself in that awkward high-school shy stage as you meet and interact with the people freed out of the zoom boxes in the world, relax. Remember, you have had time together already. You aren’t really strangers. Normalize any initial awkward feelings for both of you by mentioning it so that it is out in the open. Hint: light humor helps.
We are coming to know more directly that we are not returning to a world that existed before the pandemic. Life has changed. New ways of working and connecting will accelerate that will impact how long we work, where we work, and even what work looks like.
In the midst of all of this evolution and change, what remains constant is the need for human interaction.
It may take a bit of time for the shyness of the first internet date feeling to move through us. It will.
