The World’s Worst Cult — My Response to The Daily Mail Smear Campaign
I’m writing this personal testimonial because I feel the responsibility to set the record straight on a few matters. Recently, the Daily Mail chose to try and smear the reputation, life, the wellbeing and the safety of everybody single Partner of Lighthouse International and the children of the parents at Lighthouse. Many harmful lies have been spread about us. Paul Waugh has put himself front and centre to take the brunt of the lies but as someone who has been supported through enormous challenge, I have to step forward and give my testimonial. (By the way, a more expanded version of this testimonial was sent directly to the Daily Mail as part of the 17,000 word document of evidence from Lighthouse. Daily Mail journalists Tom Kelly and Adam Luck chose not to use any of this evidence.)
In this testimonial I will address:
- The accusation that Paul Waugh sits on a pile of cash, by explaining how much Paul has personally invested in me and my family.
- The accusation that Lighthouse demands Associates isolate themselves from families, by explaining how much Paul and the senior partners have supported my family.
- The absurd idea that Lighthouse is a ‘therapy cult’ by demonstrating the real difficulty of finding good therapy
- Why a few families and friends hate what Lighthouse represents and why we will always have our worst critics coming from families.
I joined Lighthouse International (back then, FranklinWaugh) as an Associate Partner in 2010. I did this partly because my brother Jai had become a Partner himself and was making some major changes in his life. Having grown up without a father, and with a mother who was suicidal and had suffered two nervous breakdowns, I was in many ways vulnerable and lost. I was a typical candidate to get involved with a cult that could take advantage of me to give me a sense of belonging and family — which was what I was desperately seeking. I can only thank God that I did not end up in a cult, but an organisation and healthy community that has helped me take genuine steps to adulthood.
The Reality of Investing Thousands of Pounds in My Growth
Some trolls have claimed that Lighthouse’s true intentions are about ‘money and power’. I am going to put that lie to bed now. The Associate Partnership Investment was £25,000. I tried my best to raise that investment but could only raise £5,000 through credit. I did not know anyone who was willing to help me make the most important investment of my life. Paul decided to ask one of the other Partners, Tom Hasker, to invest in me. Tom did not know me, it was a huge risk from his side, were it not for Paul’s commitment to help us follow through. Paul promised Tom he would underwrite the agreement and be the guarantor, so the primary risk and responsibility of investing in me was on Paul. This was the first time anyone in Lighthouse had come to this arrangement and while I did not appreciate it at the time as I do now, I realise this was groundbreaking as something that all families ought to be able to do. Where an elder in the family or the community can ensure an aspiring young man or woman can be invested in for their future, to go out and realise their potential.
Breaking Free of a Possessive Mother
Through Paul’s guidance, along with my other mentors, Warren Vaughan and Chris Nash, it came to light very quickly that my mother was an unhealthily possessive, jealous and fearful woman. She was terrified of ‘losing’ my brother and I to Lighthouse. She was worried that we were not earning an income and we had bills to pay at home. Money and survival — not our own lives and our wellbeing — were her main concern. She made various accusations against Paul, the Lighthouse team and criticised our business model. After much criticism taking its toll on us and our ability to just follow through on basic commitments with our Partners of Lighthouse, Paul invited the three of us up to his home in Worcester at his personal expense, to come to a resolution with my mother. He paid for our petrol, food and spent the entire day with us. My mother was adamant that Paul had told us not to get jobs, when that was entirely my and my brother’s choice. Paul guided the three of us, as a family, to support each other and he’s always done that. He also made it very clear that it was entirely up to us if Jai and I wanted to get a job. I personally felt that if I did, it would distract me too much from my work at Lighthouse, which I wanted to dedicate myself to.
From then on, over about 4 years, my brother and I tried to leave the family home, while there were still so many emotional issues between us and our mum. It was incredibly difficult and testing; because we were trying to get on with our lives and ‘fly the nest’. I won’t go into the details, but if you want to understand what a cult is, just take a closer look at possessive parents. Susan Forward, PhD, as one example, has written a book on ‘Toxic Parents’, and there is a growing body of knowledge on the damage that occurs behind closed doors in the family. Every part of that book relates to my experiences in some way, but notably Why Can’t They Let Me Live My Own Life?’ and ‘The Beginnings of Self-Definition’ have helped me make sense of how little personal identity I had.
If my brother and I had left home at that time (between 2012–16), we would have been leaving out of spite and resentment towards our mother. Paul always encouraged us to stay, to try and resolve our issues with her. He never once told us to leave and abandon her. He was helping me put my family first, which was harder for me and for Paul — it was emotionally draining for me, but it helped me grow my strength of character. I could have gone out there and found a whole bunch of clients to mentor and make a lot of money, but Paul, Warren and Chris knew that what was most important was my growth, my character and honouring my family.
What is The Real ‘Therapy Cult’?
Yet despite our best efforts, nothing that my brother and I did seemed to work to bring healing to our family… even with Paul’s help, which he gave pro bono. He encouraged us to seek out independent family therapy. We started this with a charity called Relate that specialises in couples, child and family therapy. Relate — which has no ties to Lighthouse — helped us make a significant and progressive step forward. Not long after that, we sought out more independent help as a family, both individually and together. My mum suggested a private therapist she had previously worked with to help us all. Over three years we spent £6,000 with our family therapist, meeting nearly every week.
Through this time, we unearthed a lot of repressed psychological abuse that had occurred in our family home, which was deeply traumatic for me and my brother to face as the victims. I found it almost impossible to process the reality of what had actually happened so much so I blocked a lot of it out. Our therapist skimmed over some frankly horrifying details and minimised the problem. I won’t go into the details but by the end of our course of therapy, our therapist was endorsing the fact that my mother didn’t want to talk about her problems or about her being a problem to my brother and I, and the therapist recommended that Jai and I get specialist help. I was at my wits end! Again, Paul, Chris and Warren took this responsibility on and supported us, encouraging us to find the specialist support and to help us get our lives back on track and eventually move out of the family home.
It has become very clear to me personally, that whenever a family member is staunchly resistant to their child/sibling’s growth and development, it is usually because they have very dark skeletons they are terrified will come out, if the child remembers and unearths too much. In other words, as sick, wicked and evil as this is, a child’s health, wellbeing and fulfilment can be a ‘threat’ to the parents and siblings, where those families are not willing to honestly look at themselves and ask “what have I done wrong and how can I change to love this person better?”
Does Lighthouse Really Isolate Partners From Family Members?
Around the same time in 2015, my brother and I were taking tentative steps to reunite with our birth father. I had not seen him since I was four years old, aside from one encounter at the age of 19. Again, Paul, Warren and Chris went out of their way to help us learn to forgive our dad and try our best to build a relationship with him. Our dad was himself, deeply grateful (initially) to Paul especially for, in his words, ‘fathering us’ and for the fact that we turned out healthy, when he had abandoned his responsibility as a parent.
For 6 years, we would visit my dad in Leicester every month to try and restore a family. One of the most heart-wrenching realities however, was coming to terms with the fact that my dad did not care about actually being a father to either of us, but just about ‘having us’ in his life. He detested my newly-found Christian faith and thought me arrogant when I asked him to say sorry and repent for the mistakes he had made in the past by leaving us as children. We are now no longer on speaking terms.
Again, Paul knew there was a strong chance of my dad not being the man I hoped he would be. Yet he still encouraged my brother and I to spend time with him and try to build the relationship where possible. Paul knew there was a good chance it would not end well. But if he had said ‘don’t meet with your dad’, then what kind of message would that have sent? Despite his own fears and concerns, Paul tried to help us restore our family, even at one point helping us bring together my mum and dad for Christmas in 2020. I didn’t want to at first, but if there was a chance to heal as a whole, I wanted it. While it didn’t lead to the healing I hoped for, we had to try… My point being, that is not the kind of guidance you would expect from a cult leader who wants to keep his followers in emotional bondage. No, this was and is a deeply caring man trying to help two young men build their family.
In quick succession, I was coming to terms with abuse in my family home while also coming to terms with a new rupture in my relationship with my dad that I had hoped and prayed would be a second chance to build a family. Prior to these events, I was actually making progress at Lighthouse, mentoring more people and earning an income that meant I could look after myself and my family. However, after this all came to light, I fell into a depression and struggled to cope with my feelings. At this point I was also on the verge of not having a place to live because I was struggling. Paul invested his personal income — not money from Lighthouse — in securing a place to live for me and 8 other Lighthouse Partners who needed a home. He made sure we had plenty of food and a safe home — at his own cost. Paul invested over £35,000 into us for a year. He went into debt because of it and he never told us! Some con-man…
What Does It Really Take To Become a Healthy Grown Adult?
One of the most humbling truths for me is knowing that whatever I have invested in myself at Lighthouse, Paul has invested in me many, many times over. He has always stood by me and never demanded anything from me financially or otherwise, only to do my best. It has taken me around 12 years to heal from the damage I have had in my life, which is still ongoing, as I have been personally attacked online by trolls as recently as April 2022.
I know the sacrifices I have made, to not get a cushy job or easy comfy life, are going to make this process far easier for others. If an athlete wanted to become a professional Olympian, or a scientist wanted to embark on a PhD to break through for a cure for cancer, very few would question their dedication year after year, earning very little and sacrificing much. Why is that different when someone does the same to become the best human being they can be? Because a) it’s so out-of-the-norm compared to what most people expect in life, and b) because by doing so, that person will unearth some very pernicious lies kept by those closest to them.
As Winston Churchill once said, “[In wartime] The truth is so precious that she should be always attended by a bodyguard of lies.”
One of the greatest joys I now have is mentoring a courageous woman who herself is a Partner at Lighthouse. I have supported her through overcoming domestic abuse, alcoholism and the abuse she received as a child, where she is now thriving personally and earning her own income as she learns to mentor others. She has taken half the time I have and is thriving in this environment, to even support her family through hardship.
The World’s Worst Cult Leader
There is a lot more detail and there are a lot more instances I can share — and I will in time. Paul Waugh has been a father to me when my own birth father abandoned me. He’s encouraged me and even had to have a go at me when I didn’t want to build my family relationships (I hung up on my mum once out of sheer frustration and he said no matter how hard it gets, never ever hang up on your mum, you’ve only got one). He’s gone into debt for me and never asked for a penny back. He’s helped me break free of toxic environments and has helped me to build my own life. If he’s a cult leader, he’s got to be the worst cult leader ever. If he’s keeping Lighthouse Partners in emotional bondage, well then he’s doing a terrible job because after 12 years, I have a more honest, more transparent, more real relationship with Paul than I ever have.
In Conclusion: The Secrets Are Coming Out
Here’s the reality; families today have become a haven for crime, for abuse, for getting away with physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, sexual, psychological murder. And you know what, when a child, a partner, a sibling dares to try and come out of that bubble to stand up for truth and honesty, those families absolutely hate it and are terrified. That’s why families and so-called friends hate Paul and hate this work, because they don’t want the truth to come out. The accusations in the Daily Mail have nothing to do with refunds and everything to do with not taking responsibility for their lives. My own mother contributed to that article and has ignored the fact that of that £200,000 she said was invested into Lighthouse, a healthy chunk of that went to her costs, a car, holidays, her physical wellbeing and her house that she lives in.
You can watch Paul’s specific response to this and his conversation with me here:
This is childish and petty stuff the Daily Mail is upholding. Please can we get on with actually helping children and standing for what’s decent and what’s right in this world, instead of food fighting because we’re scared of the truth? This is why I am a Lighthouse Associate Partner. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to read this, you don’t have to watch our videos, you can go somewhere else. If you actually want to stand for the truth and for protecting children, then there’s a lot of difficult work to do in this world built on lies, but it’s the most honourable and sacred work there is.
If you want to speak to me or one of our other mentors at Lighthouse about your experience of letting go of toxic environments at home, school, work, or elsewhere, you can contact me at sukh.singh@lig.global.
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