Borrowed Personalities
I wore someone else’s personality for a day.
It felt cool and new; I felt alive.
And then it began to prickle.
At first just a little -
an itch I could rub away and
then it came back with aggression
till I felt like I was in wool;
too warm, too scratched, and uncomfortable in every way.
This was hardly the first personality I’ve borrowed.
I’ve tried on the ones with the little tassels,
the ones that leave little to the imagination,
the stuffing inside legends,
even a pillowcase or two.
Sometimes, I wore them for an hour,
sometimes it would be decades.
Some fit snugly
and I forgot they were not mine
till I caught a nail and it tore right through.
Others were loose,
unbalanced,
and a sore sight.
I tossed many out the window,
hid others under my bed,
and occasionally retrofitted a couple after visiting a party or ten.
Sometimes, I kept a separate one for work
and for leisure.
Other times,
I insisted on swapping them
just for the flair.
Under my blanket,
you’ll find three
dressed-down -
one for sickness,
another for well rested-ness,
and yet another up late reading a book.
I have in my pantry a chef’s personality
that I’ve never worn
but instead,
a maid’s apron that needs mending.
The best personalities
I find
are the ones you find at thrift stores
or handmade by a grandparent’s
exuberant faith in your talents.
Either these personalities are preloved
and ready to be restored
or they are a patchwork
made from your many dalliances with life.
These personalities have no brands -
they are custom,
perhaps sloppy,
but every thread is solely yours.
It sews not just the shiny sequences
of your life
but also the morbid and the moldy.
It allows for mercy
but does not self-pity.
If it is a really good one,
a really good one I mean,
it is buffeted by kindness
and considers growth.
Mistakes are inevitable.
It stitches on an extra 2 inches
for when you may finally
no longer want to erase yourself
and spares three buttons
for your careless adventures.
Most personalities are made to measure -
they don’t change with the seasons
unlike the ones in store windows by the road.
They’re meant for long-loving,
worldly endeavors,
and iridescent patterns.
They never look the same year after year
but remember,
what makes them
remain unchanged.
I’ve borrowed enough personalities
to know that they come in all shapes
and all disguises,
they’ll stay longer than they’re welcome and
they’re occasionally hard to undo
especially if the zipper or the buckle
is well-hidden.
But when they do,
resist getting into another one
immediately.
All in all,
only wear a personality
if you must,
discard them if they prevent you
from being open, honest, and available -
in the best sense of those words.
For borrowed personalities
may come in discount deals,
and at 1$ dollar stores
but never forget,
you are yours to keep.
