2020 — The Year of Synergy
Yo yo yo
What up, Darrell Lea?
Double J, twice the nerdy, twice the fun!
A synergy between iron and steel, railroads and coal marked the beginning of the 2nd Industrial Revolution, led to the laying of 75,000 miles of track in the U.S. in the 1880s, the largest amount anywhere in world history.
A synergy between Double J and Single L, the one and only dream team, marked the beginning of Darrell Lea’s monopoly of the chocolate-making business in Melbourne, led to the production of 10,000 chocolates in Australia in 2020, the largest amount anywhere in Australian history.
HEADLINE:
“Money can buy you anything, except for Darrell Lea’s chocolates…”
I repeatedly requested Darrell Lea to pay me in chocolates as I’m a descendent of the Aztecs, repeatedly rejected…
I repeatedly attempted to order $100K chocolates from Darrell Lea, repeatedly rejected…
SCANDAL:
“Justin, the hero of the chocolate world, tells ppl NOT to eat chocolates, at least that’s what he tells his hot Asian girlfriend…”
(Shocking, he’s into crazy hot Asian chicks:)…
Double J’s go-to excuse for refusing me chocolates: it’s bad for ur heart, it makes u fat, it’s unhealthy…
(I have a recording of Justin verbally saying this, and a screenshot of Jordan telling my German boyfriend on WhatsApp, nerds community paparazzi will love it:).
Seriously, if I don’t receive those chocolates I ordered in 24 hours, I’m lodging a complaint with the press immediately, Rowville factory’s front door will be blocked by nerds community paparazzi in hours.
… I know, I know, I shouldn’t be so bitchy to my boyfriends, they are only trying to look after me:).
But they are too stubborn, won’t accept one cent from me.
Ask Jordan, how many times he refused to accept a commission from being my underpaid or unpaid PR Manager in the entire manufacturing industry in the East Coast?
If he would just let me pay him as per market rate, I wouldn’t have to buy $100K chocolates and let them sit in my apartment doing nothing…
What can I do? I don’t have a choice, as far as I know, it’s illegal to have ppl work for you for free in Australia, even if they are my boyfriends.
HOTTEST commodity in 2020: face masks, all locked up in safes in major hospitals.
HOTTEST commodity in 2021: European technicians, all locked up in Darrell Lea’s Glen Waverley apartments.
Anyone who wants to use Darrell Lea’s boys, starting price: $15K a day!!!
$15K*20*182 days=?
Engineers who are NOT terrible at math please do the math for me, in case I get it wrong…
Flights:$10K+
Quarantine: $3K+
Queen of travel exemption: $2K+
Accommodation + babysitting: ask nerds…
BEST project manager in town goes to Double J of Darrell Lea
Planning: 8
Available: 20
Reason: U r the genius of the chocolate world, I’m the genius of the business world (who has a huge crush on Justin), and we’re the dream team of 2020!
WORST project manager in town goes to R of Mars Wrigley
Planning: 40+
Available: 0
Reason: Still waiting for purchasing department to approve his orders, apparently I’m too expensive for him:).
Mondelez + Nestlé + whoever else…
Planning: 25+
Available: 1–2
Reasons:
1) sharing boys to save costs, scheduling conflicts — screwed…
2) saving money on flights and quarantine — double screwed…
3) Queen of travel exemption’s timely response, stuck in Asia exactly x days before caps on international arrivals were reduced by half in early Jan 2021 — triple screwed…
Ouch~
(Justin had nothing to do with any of this, he did NOT secretly introduce his hot Asian girlfriend to Brendan Neil, whose ONLY job was to connect me to his Ballarat project, please don’t blame B, he tried, so hard, for months, I’m just too expensive for B…
Justin would NEVER do anything to hurt his career, just to help a crazy hot Asian chick…)
(Jordan had nothing to do with this either, he constantly warned me NOT to associate with Diego by singing him “Bella Ciao” in Italian to get his Aussie customer list — Mondelez, Masterfoods…
It’s none of Jordan’s business who plans to do business in Australia or New Zealand and who might be helpful to my career, not like he works for me, he knows he works for Darrell Lea, the smart guy…)
You are the hero of chocolates
I’m the Queen of travel exemptions
You help me earn a bonus
I help you corner the market in chocolate-making
You are the superstar in Melbourne
I’m the most popular girl in Sydney
Together, we are double famous!
You take care of me
I take care of you, always:)
I mean it, my lovely nerdy Melbourne boyfriends ♥️
U r going to roll out the red carpet
I’ll bring the party to Rowville as soon as Melbourne lets me in
Let’s get the party going for 3 days non-stop, boys!!! 🍾🥂
