The Artist’s Way with Julia Cameron: Week 3

Being brave + Anger, Synchronicity, and Shame

I have a hard time calling someone on the phone.

I have been thinking and talking about this a lot lately, wondering if I’m strange or if, perhaps, I’m not alone.

It was interesting. About six months after I returned to the United States (from living in South Sudan for three years), it suddenly occurred to me, “Oh yeah, I can pick up the phone and call Sarah anytime I want to.” Sarah is one of my good friends, who has also spent time living overseas. She was one of my people when I first returned, know what I mean? She still is.

My reasoning for this then, was that I had spent so much time scheduling Skype dates and trying to communicate with people back home while we were awake at the same time (10-hour time difference from California, 7 from the East Coast, 8 from Texas, etcetera), that I had forgotten how to reach out in real time. And I most certainly was adjusting to that then!

But what about now? Why am I still having a difficult time just calling someone when I want to talk? And scarier still, have I lost the desire altogether because I became irreversibly awkward in this way somehow? Or is this something we’re all dealing with right now? It’s making me a little crazy, to be honest.

So I had to laugh a little when I saw one of this week’s tasks in The Artist’s Way: “Call a friend who treats you like you are a really good and bright person who can accomplish things. Part of your recovery is reaching out for support. This support will be critical as you undertake new risks.”

I made the call. No joke, I was slightly relieved when it went to voicemail! But I left a nice message for my friend and thanked her for being a person who supports and encourages me. I did it! Sort of. I’m still waiting for her to call back. :)

I have one friend who will always send a text first. And if we do end up talking on the phone, she always tells me she’s proud of me! “You called!” she says, “I’m so proud of you for picking up the phone.” Haha, maybe I am sort of strange, Idk. Anyhow, I am also proud of myself for calling someone.

Week 3: Recovering a Sense of Power

This week was intense. Cameron talks about anger, synchronicity, and shame.

She says anger is meant to be listened to, respected, and acted upon but not acted out. She says anger may not be a nice or gentle friend, but it is a loyal one. Something I enjoy about the book is that every page has relevant quotes about the topic. Like this one:

“I merely took the energy it takes to pout and wrote some blues.” ~Duke Ellington

I keep thinking about this, about anger and sadness and pain as fuel, probably because I’m currently processing a break-up (from a 2+ year relationship), and also a death in the family, and other life stressors. But also because I’ve lived a lot of life and felt a lot of pain. That’s life, and I think good art transforms pain into beauty.

I listened to a podcast this week: a conversation between Erica Williams Simon and Glennon Doyle. It was sent to me by the same friend who’s proud of me when I pick up the phone. ;) I hadn’t heard of Erica before, but I will be listening to more of her stuff. Her podcast is called The Call if you want to check it out.

In their conversation, Erica asks Glennon how she turned her truth-telling into a career. We’re in this sort of “vulnerability movement” right now where everyone is sharing all of their feelings publicly and hoping to get something from that: healing, fame, whatever. I loved what Glennon had to say about this:

“In this moment where so many people are talking about truth-telling and vulnerability and putting yourself out there, I think we’re getting it a little bit wrong about what that means as an art or a practice … Artists and writers and truth-tellers and poets are actually not gushing vulnerability in the moment. These are people who write from their scars, not their open wounds. These are people who find a way to experience life in the moment. They sit with it for while. They sit with the personal pain and they mine it for gold.

This is not a new concept. Frida Kahlo was surely talking about something similar when she said, “Passion is the bridge that takes you from pain to change.” There’s also good art that’s just beautiful without having pain at its root. But yes, there is something to this, isn’t there? To taking the negatives and finding a way to make them into something positive? Beauty from ashes.

This is what’s at the heart of my passion for creativity. Oh the power and the joy of experiencing healing, growth, and transformation by practicing creativity!

Photo by Peter Fogden on Unsplash

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace, and power in it. ~Goethe

About synchronicity, Cameron talks about the mysterious power of putting ourselves in the way of our dreams and watching the universe align with us.

I don’t claim to understand this by any means, but I believe I have experienced it. There have been times when I’ve made a decision to move in a certain direction and suddenly find myself surrounded by people or things that propel me even more-so toward my goal.

I can see this happening now, too. It’s fun to spend the Morning Pages writing about something in particular, like asking for a job, and then watching an email come in the same day for an interview. Gives me goosebumps! Honestly though, this topic still feels kind of hokey to me, and I believe in and pray to God.

I think what it comes down to is living with a greater awareness and intentionality in your life. What I’ve always believed is that when you want something badly enough and you go after it boldly enough, you’re going to get it. There are probably some exceptions to this, keeping in mind people who might not be in an environment that allows for such growth, but that’s how I’ve always operated.

I believe going through The Artist’s Way is certainly helping me to recover my power. I already knew I had lost some of my gumption. It’s still there, though. Battered, sure, but slowly and steadily recovering.

The last main topic this week was shame.

“Art brings things to light. It illuminates us. It sheds light on our lingering darkness. It casts a beam into the heart of our darkness and says, ‘See?’” ~Julia Cameron

Cameron suggests that shame keeps us blocked as creators. Having gone through shame storms in my own life, I can definitely attest to this! During the times when I struggled with shame the most, I also struggled the most with writing, at all, much less sharing my writing with anyone.

Thankfully, this isn’t a main struggle for me at the moment, but reading through this section was still beneficial. When the time comes to write about certain things, I’m sure the words will come in handy. There may always be certain things we’re scared to write about, for various reasons.

My childhood bedroom

To end with, on a lighter note, one of the tasks this week was to write about my childhood bedroom. It was a beauty, let me tell you. I had all the essentials.

Sitting on top of my wooden dresser was a collection of koalas (they’re not bears!) — stuffed animals, figurines: you name it, I had it. Then there was my guinea pig named Squeakers, of course, and a New Kids on the Block poster on my wall.

I listened to music regularly on my boombox. I would either put a cassette tape in or listen to my favorite local radio station: 105.3 (KKXX). They played all the best pop music, which was essential for a girl who made up dances in her room regularly.

Everything I didn’t feel like putting back in its rightful spot was stuffed under my daybead, which had white, metal posts. All my crafts and diaries were tucked away in a safe spot, along with my tiny She-Ra dolls and castle.

😂🏰💫✌🏻

Thanks for following the journey! Here are my reflections from Week 2 and Week 1, as well as the introduction piece I wrote before I started going through the book, if you’re interested in checking them out:

Lindsay with an a

Adventurer | Creator | Lover

Lindsay Lonai Linegar

Written by

Writer | Creativity Coach | Dog Walker | Aspiring Yogini 🌼 California is home, but so is everywhere.🌍 “Just dance, gonna be ok.” ~Gaga

Lindsay with an a

Adventurer | Creator | Lover

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