#LinkyBrain part deux: Feeling like an Outsider
Living without fear
I spent a lot of my life doing things through fear. Not the obvious fear of ‘I’m going to die if I don’t do this’ but more like the ‘I suppose I should do this because thats what others do and I wouldn’t want to be seen as not normal’
I wouldn’t want to be seem as not normal
This came into being around about 15–16. I, and others, who were just bored at school got side tracked by music and exploration.
I learnt guitar, we made a band (The Killing Floor), played in pubs, people watched, got drunk like rock stars and then we really started our exploration.
Exploring what different types of music we could play, the dynamic of being in a band and how to be a better band. Jazz, Funk, Blues, Rock…we got our basis and then tried more.
I LOVED IT. Everything else faded into insignificance. From doing A level math at 14 to getting a D in GCSE. That kind of insignificance.
This was the first experience of how scenario’s, nuances and effect to create affect came into play. An infinite choice which can be defined by YOU as individual. I was never the Guitar Idol (Omar…he was incredible) which upset me but I quickly realised I had other skills. Bringing it together and rocking the fuck out as a single unit, wall of noise which drove people crazy.
I still miss it and probably my only regret is that I am not active in a musical collaboration (I make my own songs though)
The life changing distractions and crisis.
Drugs. If I were to advise anyone I’d say they should be treated with the highest respect on what can happen and how long that changes the way you behave. Especially taking LSD. As a 17yr old. Be careful people.
I could write a book about this but suffice to say I was taken off to far reaching locations of the mind and discovered my soul, my internal voice and my fears. I spent a lot of time after this being scared. Scared of existence and not being normal. I wanted to just experience life the way others did without the anxiety and paranoia. IT WAS NOT FUN. I don’t want to dive into internal musings on philosophy and such like but it crushed my confidence for around 10 years and moulded me for another 20.
Resilience
I managed to sort myself out, just. Get through A Levels and get to the University of Life (Stafforshire Uni.) This is where I choose a way of life that I did things that made me happy. New born? A little bit but still fundamentally the same desire to explore and adventure. And get into significant trouble.
The Recent Now
That was a long time ago but I find myself here in a position that just blows my mind. I have everything I ever wanted or dreamt about. I feel beyond lucky but I know I created it and acted upon chance (or serendipity). I made so many mistakes and took a very, very non standard route but its led me to a future I am happy with. Although we are always moving forward and trying to do more….right? Paradox
I Never Had A Plan
How is it that I am now in a position where I am founder of an AI platform business (an entrepreneur or all things) with clients and opportunities in this brave new word when I failed (Ungraded) Computer Science A-Level?
I wrote a story in the final Computer Science exam as I had no idea on the answers. I had no context of what or why I was being taught about arrays, buffers and bytes. It made no sense!
Context
The power of the LinkyBrain person is context. Given natural logic and scenarios, they will connect abstract concepts and realities where others may not see the route. Its BLOODY MAGICAL stuff I tell you! I have worked with very bright minds but they don’t have this. Its why I am able to be in this position even though my raw IQ is pretty normal (I think.)
I consider the thought of:
‘what if I could just stop listening to those nagging doubts and fears and just do anything I wanted. Free of inhibition. Why not? What have I got to worry about?’
I can now pick up almost any concept to a pretty decent level if I take the time to understand its context. And the more I understand how I work, the better I get and the more confident I get around what I can do. Exponential dude.
Quantum Leap
But, we, whoever we are, stumbled along and came to this place ourselves through frustration, pain and the feeling of being mentally unstable (‘I feel like I am on crazy pills?’)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilcRS5eUpwk
Is creating this LinkyBrain movement the same as the Quantum Observer Effect? By trying to explain to the young and up-comers we will change this natural evolution of minds through removing that experience? You can be told the answers to life but you have to experience it to know it.
Perhaps but the possibility of being mentored by AWESOME, experienced people who think a little bit like you for truly altruistic reasons could unleash a new evolved human mind. That is exciting.
It could? Or it could just fail and turn into cosmic thought dust. Lets take that chance shall we?
