Vibrators, Marijuana, and Venture Capitalists

I talk about vibrators a lot because it’s my job. It’s an interesting ice breaker, for sure. With most people, I usually see reactions that go from shock to discomfort to curiosity and finally to genuine conversation/interest. I don’t think it ever quite occurred to them that someone who looks as “normal” as I am would be in the “sex toy industry.” We have a lot of productive conversation. We talk, we joke, and sometimes we get into touchingly vulnerable stories about a topic we rarely get to discuss freely.

It’s quite a different story with VCs and other financial services.

Here’s a sample of what we heard last year:

Tech Investor at a competition: “Why do we need to know this?” But later, giving feedback for a male sexual health device: “I think I can speak for everyone here and say that you’re doing is very important and will improve a lot of lives.”

Business Executive/Startup Competition Judge: “I think it’s morally wrong for women to pleasure themselves.”

Bank: “We don’t want to work with a company like yours…too much like Chatroulette.” (and then we were escorted out of the building)

Yet another Investor: “We like all of you. You’re an impressive team making an important product that people want in a highly profitable market. We’d take you in a heartbeat, but we’re afraid of what our LPs and peers would think [of us].”

(LP = Limited Partners. The entities who give institutional investors money to invest on their behalf)

Keep in mind, all of these people live in the Bay Area, and primarily in San Francisco, the “beacon” of liberal thought and sexual freedom. Many of these people I quoted would consider themselves fairly liberal… except for when it comes to women’s bodies. Thankfully, a majority of the feedback I get is most similar to the last one, but it still reflects the fear and uneasiness and “not in my backyard” mentality a lot of people have when it comes to a natural body function that pretty much every single human has done before but doesn’t want to admit.

We live in a world where medicinal marijuana startups are getting funded (and celebrated) by angel and institutional investors. This is despite the fact that they’re still illegal on a federal level, which I would have thought would land them into hotter water with their LPs. It’s not that I personally oppose it, but given investors claimed squemishness on “sin” industries, I’d have thought it would raise a few more questions.

By and large, vibrators and sex toys are not illegal to own in the U.S. It’s something that’s used for a variety of reasons from pleasure to stress/anxiety to just general wellbeing. Despite the huge market potential, growth, and health benefits in learning more about women’s sexual health, many investors quickly categorize vibrators as “vulgar” and “uncomfortable” or are afraid to ruffle the feathers of someone above them. When I hear about institutional investment in medicinal marijuana startups, it makes me think that the concern is less about what the investor’s LPs would think and rather what they’re personally comfortable with. Or, maybe, how they would look to their investor peers.

Sex and masturbation are among the most fundamentally human functions ever alongside eating, sleeping, and breathing. It’s how we’re all here. However, what’s accepted and supported is based on who has the money and what doesn’t give business executives the heebie jeebies. By allowing these sort of biases to rule, we ignore the needs of those who don’t look like those who make the investment decisions.

“When I hear about institutional investment in medicinal marijuana startups, it makes me think that the concern is less about what the investor’s LPs would think and rather what they’re personally comfortable with. Or, maybe, how they would look to their investor peers.”

The story of gender bias in Silicon Valley isn’t a new one. I’m still hopeful that Silicon Valley will change and start paying more attention to the needs of the other 50% of our population. I’m still hopeful it will reinvent itself—after all, it has before. Until then, I’m hoping that this might start changing someone’s mind and making them think a little harder about certain startups that they might have dismissed out of hand before. After all, underserved areas are often the best investment opportunities. Let’s not only fight the good fight, but hopefully invest in something that’s more world-changing (and portfolio boosting) than just another delivery app.