For the women that come next

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When I decided to leave the gaming industry after 8 years, I thought about what it meant for women in gaming leadership positions that would come after me.

I don’t have delusions of grandeur that I’m anywhere even close to the world of Sheryl Sandberg (lord, I wish.) That being said: every person counts.

I was a public-facing role in the gaming industry and while the job is tough for everyone, being a woman adds a level of negativity that became difficult even for me to bear. Eight years of harassment, insults, sexism, and threats of varying levels of vitriol weighs on you, no matter how thick your skin and how good your coping mechanisms.

Did I leave gaming because of this stuff?

No.

Did this stuff have a significant place in the “CON” section when I was trying to decide whether I should stay or go?

Yes.

Do I think about returning to gaming?

Definitely.

Does the fact in my new field I have not received any comment ever like those I got literally daily while working in gaming make me reluctant to return?

Of course.

Do I grapple with the fact that opting out instead of standing up and fighting makes it tougher for the women who come next?

God, yes.

It’s one of the reasons I write. I’m in a safer place now, so being more transparent comes with fewer risks, but while I opted out of gaming, I don’t have to opt out of helping make a better world for the women who come after me.

I’m still in tech — I don’t ever see myself leaving it. This is where my passion lies — and, yes, I never want to opt out again. I’m in this for me, first, but I’m in it for all the women who came before and all the women that come next.