How to Be More Like an Asshole.
(…in a good way. Pardon the explicit language.)
People fall into one of three categories:
1. You are not an asshole and know you are not.
2. You are not an asshole but wonder if you are.
3. You are an asshole.
Chances are if you chose the second category, you are probably not. Or at least not all the time because you care enough to wonder if you are. And therein lies the crux of this posit. If you noticed, there is no split option above for the asshole. That is because if you were an asshole — whether you know it or not — you really don’t care or take others’ feelings into consideration.
If you have ever honked your horn, you’re an asshole. — Louis C.K.
The above quote gave me pause when I heard it live. I admit to having had moderate road rage from time to time. But, weeks after the comedian’s absolute truth, I came to a realization in the car.
A man had blown right through a yield sign where I had the right of way. I felt the immediate sense of “That asshole!” and urge to “show him.” I paused and thought: Sure, I can catch up and cut him back off. But then what? I came to the conclusion:
No matter what you do to an asshole, they will go on with their day not caring about you.
Think about any example from your own life, on the road or otherwise, where an asshole wronged you or made you feel shitty, or angry, or want to punch them in the face. Without engaging in violence or actually killing them, is there something that would have made that asshole stop and reflect on their life choices? No... They’re an asshole.
I pose that we could all learn from the assholes of the world. I would never suggest setting out to wrong or hurt people, but rather suggest the takeaway is an asshole’s typical reaction or lack thereof. Care less.
Don’t follow an asshole’s actions, but rather learn from their reactions.
I believe (or like to hope that) most people actually do care about their fellow man. Many probably care more about others than they take care of themselves. We could all follow airplane safety rules more in our own lives: “Put on your own oxygen mask before helping others.” Sometimes it is okay, healthy even, to put your own feelings before others’.
Now when I drive, I basically live by the mantra: “There will be assholes.” [/…Don’t be one. Don’t let one convince you to join the team.] Accept this truth and let it set you free.
- Someone cuts you off: There goes an asshole; not ruining my day.
- Someone honks at you because you sat a couple seconds at a light: There’s an asshole behind me; Thanks for the heads up!
- Someone is an asshole to you: Smile, it’s really the best revenge. Wave even!
Granted, I’ve also adopted the attitude that you never know when someone is having their worst day. Or going through a personal pain or struggle that you know nothing about. We’ve all been there. We may have been the asshole, however uncharacteristic it may be for us. So…
Be kind. Yes, even to assholes. But especially, to yourself.
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