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Dumb Business Catchphrases

Daniel G. Jennings
Lists of Doom
Published in
2 min readJan 17, 2025

We all know that most business catchphrases are dumb. Thus, business catchphrases are easy to mock so we love them.

Photo by Charlie Firth on Unsplash

To give ourselves more crap to mark. We shall propose dumb business catchphrases to promote.

Dumb Business Catchphrases to Mock include:

  1. “We are a family owned business.” This is terrible because the Mafia is a family owned business.
  2. “We live our values.” What are your values? Remember, the Bloods and Crips live their values everyday.
  3. “The Customer is always right.” This will go out the window if the customer says he deserves everything for free or a lower price.
  4. Clean Energy. There is no such thing. Just don’t tell solar promoters.
  5. Green Energy. We still don’t know what this is. In particular, we cannot figure out how solar panels and windmills are green.
  6. Diversity. This means nonwhite people are wonderful as long as they are rich. Meanwhile, we will treat poor white people just like we treat poor nonwhite people like trash.
  7. Loss Prevention. This means stupid security measures that do not deter theft and never prevent losses.
  8. America’s Network, NBC. This is dumb because Americans do not watch NBC and a large percentage of them are unaware of NBC’s existence.
  9. Disney Magic. This means taking all of a family’s money and calling it “family entertainment.”
  10. Family Entertainment. This means boring programming nobody wants to watch.

So yes, modern business runs on dumb catchphrases. Thus if you want to get rich you need to create a dumb catchphrase.

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Lists of Doom
Lists of Doom

Published in Lists of Doom

Welcome to Lists of Doom; the Ultimate Listicle Publication. At Lists of Doom we know all listicles are 100% bullshit. Our listicles are just as dumb, meaningless, and inaccurate as any other listicle you will find online. However, we try to make our listicles funny.

Daniel G. Jennings
Daniel G. Jennings

Written by Daniel G. Jennings

Daniel G. Jennings is a writer who lives and works in Colorado. He is a lifelong history buff who is fascinated by stocks, politics, and cryptocurrency.

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