Nine Things Mitch McConnell Plans to do if Trump is Reelected

A secret list of things U.S. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky) plans to do after President Donald J. Trump’s (R-Florida) reelection has surfaced.

An anonymous source leaked this list to Lists of Doom for an exclusive story. Okay, we made this bullshit up but the anonymous source nonsense sounds better.

Mitch McConnell in his other guise as America’s Sith Lord Darth Odious https://pixabay.com/vectors/jedi-sith-empire-futuristic-knight-3451089/

Mitch McConnell’s 2021 Legislative Agenda includes:

1. Lower the bar for federal judicial appointments further. The Constitution does not require a law degree or bar membership for the judiciary. Therefore, U.S. Supreme Court Justice Jerry Falwell Jr. (R-Virginia) sounds like a great idea.
2. Make publicly discussing the possibility that Climate Change is real a federal crime. Okay, that pesky First Amendment thing will get in the way but coal industry lobbyists will love it.
3. Make it illegal to spend federal funds on climate change research.
4. Ban electric cars, wind turbines, and solar panels. They’re a waste of money and a threat to Big Coal.
5. Finally invade Iran.
6. Expand Second Amendment Rights so ordinary Americans can buy heavy artillery, landmines, drones, robot tanks, missile launchers, and Gatling Guns. Average…