The Republican Plans to Help the Unemployed

The Republicans have a secret plan to help the estimated 33 million unemployed people in the United States.

Now that the $600 a week unemployment insurance extension has expired, Republicans have other plans to help the jobless. The Grand Old Party (GOP) opposes extending its own unemployment insurance plan because $600 a week discourages people from working.

Image by lannyboy89 from Pixabay

Lists of Doom asked GOP U.S. Senators to explain that statement. However, all the Republican U.S. Senators were too busy playing golf to return our phone calls.

Fortunately, an exclusive copy of the secret Republican plans to help the unemployed was leaked to us. Okay, we made this shit up, but the leak nonsense sounds better.

The Republicans’ Plans to Help the Unemployed include:

1. Encourage job creation by eliminating the minimum wage so it will cost less to employ people. We asked Republicans how workers will eat with no minimum wage. Strangely, Republicans did not realize that workers eat.
2. Deport all the unemployed workers to the People’s Republic of China where there are many jobs.
3. Hope that all the unemployed workers die of coronavirus.
4. Incarcerate all the unemployed to create enormous numbers of…