Behind My Dust-Spattered Window
free verse poetry
No, no, I’ve seen you
you were correcting the spelling
all the way to the last page
fullfilllment
or fulfillment
or fufiment
In the desert
the sharp gravel’s hard on your skin
no, no, I’ve seen you
you were pleading and begging
and crying:
would someone shoot me please
would someone please
would please
Sing along:
I’ve blasted your body
I’ve shredded your skin
you’re only human
you’re not a dream
I love my machine gun
I’ll grease it at night
my black shiny terror
proving me right
So I’ve seen you, so what
dashing downstairs
there might be a letter, an error
there might be a sale
stumbling over invisible rope
a splinter in your brain
shattered knees pulled up high
in a twisted hope
Your muscles won’t relax
when you die
I swear
on my aching blood
no, no, it ain’t a trap
Upside down, inside out
head brushing bottom, ankles strung up
I don’t want to see you
I don’t want to help you cry
it won’t do
I won’t come by
Warships and tanks and wrecking crews
fighter jets, armed drones
and guided missiles
I’ve got words and fading ringtones
I’m a bull
dozer
there’s nothing
in this vein —
tell me about being homesick
for that big white pain.
I’ve seen you before
confessing another dimension
confessing dimension
pissing to mention
it’s really the end —
arbitrary spin
and it’s gone
tell me the sun doesn’t see
tell me a song:
Love love lovel valve
I lost my valve
what to do
burning bull will come true
who needs the echo of the pilgrimage
pressed under her dying car
in a stuffy garage.
I’ve been on many a train
I’ve been on many a trail
I’ve been kicked out of my brains
I’ve been crossed under my nails
I hate you I love you I hate you I love you
I flower flower flower in the night
it’s as dim as they come —
no movie lights
Chaos all the way down to the highrise
two blocks away
the sidewalks the roads
cars stopped
police, fire trucks, ambulances
city officials
it’s not garbage day
can’t help
holding up
stiff as a gun
though I’m really cold
and I can’t dance on nails
Iron and steel
my neck
my ache
my bodily fluids evaporating
sandy gravel in my throat
(sing along)
puking myself inside out
whooping it up
having a ball
I’m so incredibly happy
I could cry
I’m so happy
I’m in the sky
flowers and green and sunny and warm
billowing gowns
in summer breeze
across the terrace stones
wine and cherries and vines and figs
dark sunglasses
and laughter of kids
I’m so happy in this day and age
I’m happy trippy
my fingers
stretched out
palm tree
palm gone
