Convalescence
It comes without warning, a storm.
No time to prepare, to brace.
As it approaches, relentless wind ravages my skin, pulling and tugging me back into submission.
Every step is agony, eyes stinging from the sheer force of resistance.
I trip over the cracks of the barren landscape; scrape my knees on the hollow crevices of empty promises.
There are no trees or strong arms to hold on to, no sanctuary to rest my aching limbs.
No other being travels here in this wilderness of nothing, the ferociousness of it unbearable to most.
Seconds are millennia, inches are galaxies. Time, I curse, both too fast and too slow to match the unsteady rhythm of my straining heart.
Each step brings me both closer and further away from the promised haven. A home of peace and compassion meant to cultivate motivation; to bring forth the freshest fruits of my being.
That knowledge had only given me frail hope, while trapping me in an addiction for its search far greater than my resolve.
My hands hold onto the tattered remains of a map given to me by someone long forgotten, routes crossed-out and rewritten by many, ink vaporizing in the sun’s furnace.
Torn between now and tomorrow, I step in uncertainty, scraping for a grip steady enough to hold my burdens.
Yesterday’s talons latch onto my ankles, pumping venomous memories into my blood.
My lungs gasp for oxygen, but only swallow sulfurous lies disguised as perfume, sickly sweet and unyielding.
The battle inside becomes a chromatic series of attack and defend, my white flag stained a kaleidoscope of rouge.
A voice whispers horrors to make me surrender, encouraging the wind to scream louder, urging the soil to break deeper.
The sky darkens, and crows join in the choir with their laughter.
Still, I crawl, feeling the dirt bite deeper underneath my fingernails, cursing myself for my weakness as my teeth chatter in a dance for rain despite the heat.
Cracks spread across the sky further than the horizon, and unrealistic expectancy fills my veins.
The ceiling breaks and the roar is deafening as thunder stills the clockwork of my heart.
Then everything is quiet, watching that first drop race down to soothe my burning skin.
More rain follows, satiating the land, filling every tear and ravine with unreserved urgency.
Cracks heal, stitched back together with new beginnings.
The dust and hardened clay that I built as a second skin, peels off to join the swirling reverie of aqua streams.
The water rises and lifts my battered body, restoring my strength with its calm caress as I start to drift with its currents.
Three beasts of time withdraw their clutches, and the currents of truth lap at my hair, transforming matted strands into golden waves.
Echoes of lost ones’ voices fade away and sweet essence of a new dawn permeates my senses.
Something tugs at my hand, and I release the map, no longer needing guidance as I breathe in crisp renewal.
The bitterness and my thirst is replaced, satiated.
Darkness dissipates with time, carried away in a breeze, laying bare the sky.
As much as a soul can suffer, it can heal.
