I’ve known him for a while, and we’ve grown as close as family. We met at a party for one of our friend's birthdays, and talking to him was good. Although he was a few years older than me, we became good friends after learning about each other’s lives. He told me he had recently taken up a job as a tourist driver around the city, while I was completing my graduation. Since then, we have maintained our friendship, occasionally meeting for a beer or a ride up the hills in Kurseong. As we got to know each other better, we began sharing our stories — those little moments of our lives that mattered or simply sounded funny. And on one such occasion, he told me about his past, which was nothing like I had imagined.
He came from the small village of Pedong, nestled in the mountains surrounded by the serenity of towering peaks, where the winds whisper through the trees. People there have a deep faith in religion, and their cultures represent a lifestyle passed down through generations, and Amir was no exception. Earlier in his life, Amir used to sell marijuana to the locals and make decent money from customers who traveled far for the product. Danger was ever-present in this line of work, and he often said, “A secure life doesn’t guarantee good pay.” But after marrying Sana and having their daughter Leila a year or so later, he began to have second thoughts about his role as a father. He wanted to be deserving of Leila and avoid ending up in jail, which would devastate the family he cherished so much.
He left after a quarrel with his partners, who then decided never to help him, no matter his situation. But Amir had made up his mind never to look back again. After a while, he found a job as a taxi driver for a tourism company that provided guided tours all over North Bengal. Being an experienced driver, he was given a decent salary that provided well for his family. It was Leila whom Amir cherished the most. She was the light of his life. Her laughter echoed through their small house, filling it with warmth and joy. However, when Leila was four years old, she began having breathing issues, and her condition worsened over time, requiring regular medical assistance.
When they took her to the hospital for a check-up, doctors diagnosed her with congenital heart disease. This condition caused breathing and malnourishment issues, and they informed Amir and Sana that Leila’s situation was critical. The doctors explained that her condition had been present since birth, but the symptoms had not been noticeable until now. Unfortunately, it had become too risky to operate. The disease spread rapidly, and despite Amir’s efforts to provide her with the best care, his resources were painfully limited. As Leila’s condition worsened, Amir watched helplessly as his daughter’s vitality waned. Her once-bright eyes grew dull with pain, and her laughter was replaced by soft moans of suffering. Despair settled over him like a heavy shroud, and his life began to crumble. The mountains, once a sanctuary, now felt like a prison, trapping him in a nightmare of futile dreams.
In the quiet moments of the night, Amir would sit by Leila’s bedside, holding her small hand in his, feeling the fragility of her life slipping away. He would look at her, a mixture of love and anguish tearing at his heart, and question the meaning of it all. How could such cruelty befall an innocent child? What kind of god would allow this to happen?
His faith, once a source of solace, began to waver. He found himself questioning the morality of a God who could permit such suffering. The teachings of his youth, the promises of an afterlife and divine justice, seemed hollow in the face of his daughter’s torment. Wondered about the futility of a life that seemed to offer no purpose but to end in pain and loss.
One night, as he sat alone under the stars, the weight of his grief pressed heavily upon him. The vast expanse of the sky seemed indifferent to his sorrow, a silent witness to his despair. He thought about his past, the choices he had made, and the life he had tried to build. It all seemed meaningless if Leila was to be taken from him. At that moment, he realized his love for Leila was more than anything. Though it brought him unbearable pain, it was also the source of his deepest strength. It was this love that had driven him to leave behind his past, strive for a better life, and hope against all odds for a better day. Even in her suffering, Leila taught him the power of love and the courage it takes to face life’s harshest trials, to endure and overcome.
He understood that while he might never find the answers to his questions, the love he held for her was a testament to the beauty and resilience of the human spirit. Amir resolved to cherish every remaining moment with Leila, to hold her close and let her know she was loved. In the face of the inevitable, he chose to find purpose in his love, however fleeting it might be. And in that choice, he discovered a measure of solace, a way to endure the unendurable, and a reason to continue, even when the path ahead seemed impossibly hard.
It was December 24, 2022, at around midnight when she passed. Amir and Sana were present at the hospital with her when she took her last breath. She had fallen asleep holding his hands.
When my girlfriend introduced me to him on that birthday, I thought him a kind of strange fellow, sitting alone drinking his beer in peace. I am glad I asked him to join us.
