Forgiveness - how easy or difficult is it in the volatile space that we live in today?
“To err is human; to forgive, divine.” ~ Alexander Pope
Having learned that, is it really easy to forgive the one who has wronged you? How many perturbed days does one spend before that one vindictive thought completely subsides? How many sleepless nights are wasted on heated mental scrambles? How many awakening hours are lived in anxiety contemplating retaliation to those tart comments (often taking the shape of a verbal attack) from that one colleague/boss, who would just not allow you a peaceful moment at work?
Whether there are answers to the above rants or not, is not the question here, as there aren’t. The question is, how to go about the process that leads to complete exemption from such acerbic feelings at one’s workplace, so that ‘work-life’ is rendered more meaningful and worthwhile.
No, I don’t wish to make this article sound like a spiritual text on “how to develop the art of forgiveness” or “ten tips to bring down your anger at workplace”, etc. That’s not my agenda, spiritual gurus will do a far better job there.
What I am saying is, we all experience such situations, where we feel wronged at some point or the other. At times we retaliate, at other times we don’t, but the feeling of being wronged remains. What wrong did I do to warrant such a behaviour? What right does she have to speak to me that way? and so on and so forth. It also happens often that the person who has wronged doesn’t even realise that he has done so. So, why harp on something which was not really meant, or what’s the point in cursing a person when he himself is totally unaware of what is going on in your mind?
Having said that, in this volatile professional space, where things are not always hunky dory, certain experiences become so bitter (with management, co-workers) that one gets completely de-motivated to the extent of even quitting the job, a reactionary emotional outcome. And it doesn’t end there.
I know of a friend, who even after quitting her job, couldn’t come out of it easily, the intense negativity associated with all her experiences (humiliation, anger, anxiety of poor performance, low self-esteem, etc.) was so much. And all of this because, she chose to ‘not forgive’ the person (her boss) and held on to the negativity.
To love is easy, we often fall in love, with people, with places, with lifestyle. To hate is even easier and more tempting. Hating someone leads to feelings of avenging the loss which greatly boosts the ego. I will teach her a lesson, what does she think of herself? I am no less than him, that selfish brute, I will bring him down. These are all feelings that immensely feed our ego.
But to forgive, it’s tough, it’s immensely tough. One has to just ‘let it go’ and then ‘let it be’. It takes some time for the mind to adapt to this mechanism of ‘letting it go’ and then ‘letting it be’. Forgiving is a journey, quite a journey.
And this journey relieves one of several negative vibes thereby eventually infusing us with positivity. There are endless opportunities and possibilities in life, once we chose to forgive a person or an incident. Self improvement is a process that happens from within, lets begin making an effort towards that. Once we are able to let go of the toxicity inside, its only then that we would be able to strike that perfect “work-life” balance. Let’s develop the practice of forgiveness and letting go of undesired memories, honestly, its not that difficult as forgiveness, even though a bit difficult is immensely rewarding and hence, DIVINE!
