I Walked With Her
Once I watched over a child and walked beside her. She was lively and curious with what was going on around her. Laughing and devouring love in every corner.
I remember watching her walking in the field with wheat standing at her chest. She held her arms out and let the passing of grains fall from her hands. I observed she had something on her mind, I knew she needed me. I strolled up beside her without disturbing her thoughts. I asked her if she would like to talk to me. She bowed her head, allowing the silence to answer me.
I worried over her small frame and the weight that laid heavy on her shoulders. She never complained, but she did wonder, sometimes, why.
As I brushed my face against her cheek, I spoke with a low voice, “ As long as you need me, I will be with you. I will walk beside you as long as our journey is meant to be.”
She touched my face and kissed me on my nose. She was a loving child and I knew we would be together for a long time, but I did wonder, from time to time, when would she walk away quietly as though I never was. I knew she would always be grateful for our walks and for the strength I provided her with. I gave her a place, a moment to step away from the world she came from to be in our world. She loved our world with the sun shining on her person, giving our surroundings a glow with brilliance that blocked all sadness.
This is when she would, at times, lie on the ground and allow me to watch over her. She would always remark how much she loved my blue-black hair and how the sunlight reflected the blue so brightly. She reached up and stroked the top of my head.
After I knew her mind had calmed, I relaxed beside her and she began to speak of all her worries. Sometimes her sadness could be overwhelming, but she kept telling all her secrets until the last teardrop fell. She had cleansed her soul, for a little while. Lying there with her, gave her such a comfort and I wished she could stay with me all the time, but, of course, that was foolish. Time in our world lasted only moments, even when the sun was getting ready to kiss the wheat goodnight, she stayed as long as she could.
Days had passed. She had not called for me. I could not feel her spirit calling for her mind to come to me. I began to worry. Then, there she appeared walking in the wheat field towards me. I had missed her and I, lovingly, brushed up against her. I told her I see the new bruise on her cheek. She didn’t speak, dismissing my comment. She just wrapped her arms around me to find her solace in the love I always had ready for her. In our world, it was her sanctuary and the golden haze covered all the darkness which laid beyond our realm.
We walked to the tall oak tree in the middle of the field, where we rested awhile. She, eventually, fell asleep and she felt protected with me alongside her. I saw her chest slowing falling, then rising. Sometimes, she would cry out in her dreams and I would draw as close as possible to her small body, letting her feel my love soothing her.
Lazily she stretched awake. She jumped up and began running, running so fast as I raced with her. I knew she needed to release the demons to refresh her spirit. We ran to the pond on the back of the property. She peered into the water observing her reflection. She looked up at me and wanted to know why I had not mentioned the smudge of dirt on her cheek.
“It was mixed with your tears while you were letting go of your pain. To say I saw would have stopped the removal of the pain. When the pain is shedding, I take it, never speaking of it, again.” I said to her.
She dipped her hand in the cool water and washed the ‘pain’ mark away. She jumped up, began laughing and twirling around and singing. I was aware she had let the day’s troubles go and we would play the rest of the afternoon. She made a mud pie, telling me about the purple fairies that came to her in the night. I stretched out in the sun listening to her stories. I loved her so. I loved her strength, her courage that made her brave which was so unnecessary for one so young.
After a while, she wanted to lie down and look up to the sky and determine how many shapes could we find. She leaned back on my stomach and caressed my chest. She was so happy when I found the first shape that looked like an elephant! We felt so content together. The happiness was broken when we heard someone calling her, from the other world, to come to the house. I had to let her go. She promised to return soon.
Again, several days past and I was pacing back and forth with anxiousness for my little girl. She was not coming to our world, visiting as often as before, where she was the happiest. I decided to roam to the entrance of our realm. Approaching the realm was showing much darkness. I had never been to the far side of this point. I crept out into the darkness.
There was a light in the distance, I walked towards it. There was something about this world she lived in that made the hairs on my neck stand at attention. As I drew closer to the house, watching the shadows in the windows, I found her room and climbed in through the window. She was lying on the bed crying. I crawled close to her tiny frame and stretched my body above her with both front paws on each side of her. She rolled over and gave me that sweet smile. I told her to climb on my back and I would take her away. She told me thank you, but if she went, now, she would never be able to return to this world. The people in this world would not understand where she had gone to. She couldn’t leave without her grandmother. I promised to stay with her awhile until she fell asleep.
As I waited with her, I took in all the scents in the room. I could smell her scent everywhere and her freshly washed hair was glowing in the light of the tiny lamp on the table next to her bed. I wanted to take her away. I could hear loud voices of a man and woman disagreeing on something. She told me not to worry, it would stop soon. I intently looked at her face watching for her eyes to close and to hear deep breathing.
I crawled through the window, landing on the cool earth. I slowly walked back to the entrance of our world. Before I entered, I glanced back towards that light where I found her and wondered if I would see her, again. I stood guard over our world.
Many days had gone away, it was feeling like weeks. I waited and wished for her safe return. One late afternoon she came. I was so deep in thought of her, she snuck up behind me! She looked so different! Her dark curls were longer and, now, my back was not at her shoulders; my back was at her waist. She gave me the most endearing hug that lasted several minutes and her tears of joy in seeing me, fell on my coat and I licked her face and pushed up against her. I was getting a feeling she was preparing me for what was always meant to happen, but I was not ready.
She pulled back and I realized looking at her, the time in our world had given her time to grow up in the world she came from. She was a lovely young girl. I asked her how old she was and she said she was 14 years old. A tear rolled down my cheek. So much time had past, she was 8 years old the last time I saw her.
Our world still glowed with a golden haze and her laughter was still the same, but she had learnt to deal with her feelings without me for many sunsets. She told me, this day, had been very difficult; her grandmother had died and she felt she needed to spend time with me. We walked to the tall old oak tree, sat under its long limbs and talked for awhile.
I let her know how much I missed her as I nuzzled my face into her lap. She wrapped her arms around my neck and that made me conscious of how much she had grown, for the last time she hugged me, her little arms could not reach around my neck. She had tears falling, then, my tears began falling. Our beautiful world was closing and our journey was coming to the last sunset. She sat with me for hours talking about all of our years together. My heart was breaking and I never had felt this feeling before. My little girl was growing up and I soon would be invisible to her. I asked her if she would keep me in her memory and she said, “I will until I take my last breath.”
Then, she asked for an oath. “Promise me you will always keep this world opened, allow all the children in, which need this golden haze to thrive in. Promise me, you will guard the gate and guard each child’s heart and spirit until they complete their journey. I hope all the children will feel as safe as I always have, being here with you. You are the Panther, the guardian of this world, the protector of hearts, until the children can walk freely in the other world. Please, give them sanctuary as you did me.”
I gave her my word I would protect all that came to this world. I felt proud of my little girl. She had developed into a strong young lady! As my broken heart continued to break more, I roared, victoriously, with the pride of the Panther I am!
With one last warm loving hug, she and I walked a distance and broke away at the mark, continuing our separate ways.
I turned around to see her walk out to the edge of the realm, blow me a kiss and disappear. I will always remember I walked with her.
