Penelope
Short Story
Penelope waited. Waited like she had been waiting every night for two weeks for her husband to come home. She sat on the floor of their bedroom looking at the pictures that followed their life. There were many of their wedding, their honeymoon, and a few from the holidays. They looked happy, and for a while, Penelope had believed in their happiness.
She took out a box from underneath their bed and opened it. Inside were baby clothes and toys that Penelope had been collecting for some time. Pink and yellow dresses for the girls, blue overalls, and caps for the boys. Rattles and stuffed animals mixed between it all. She pulled out a stuffed cow, plush and soft, and held it up to her cheek.
A picture of a beach peeked out where the cow had been and Penelope pulled it out. It was a picture of a resort in Greece: white sand, blue water, and warm sunshine. Penelope could remember cutting it out of a travel magazine before she had met Troy. She quickly pulled out the rest of the stuffed animals to find more travel articles and some old colleagues’ academic research. Pictures of Rome, Italy, and Russia blended with articles of various accounting issues. Looking at the mess on the floor, Penelope began to wonder what she truly wanted anymore.
“Penny? What are you doing?”
Startled, Penny dropped the article in her hands and turned to look at her husband, Troy. “You made me give up my job.” She looked back at the travel pictures and academic articles scattered around her on the floor, remembering now how her life had shifted focus. “You made me give up my life… to focus on your dreams… why did I let you?”
“Penny, we both agreed that it would be better for you to focus your efforts on helping me with my career. I needed you at all my fundraisers and mixers with the head doctors. They wanted to see a stable relationship to know that I wouldn’t switch hospitals anytime soon. Penny, we agreed that you would help me.” Penelope wasn’t surprised when Troy immediately answered her question. He had always been a smooth talker, a logic maker.
She sat back and closed her eyes.
“Penny, I needed you.”
“Needed me? Don’t you still need me?” She watched Troy reel, opening his mouth and closing it quickly. “Where have you been Troy, just be honest. I’m tired of all this.”
“Penny-“
Her cellphone went off from the nightstand, cutting off his words. They both waited for it to stop. “It’s her, isn’t it? That new intern of yours? Every time I try to set up lunch with you, your receptionist tells me you’re already out with her.” She stood up to meet her husband’s gaze.
“Penny… I never wanted it to come to this. You know that I always wanted a family, know that I tried my hardest when we found out that you couldn’t have kids. But I couldn’t fix you…”
Again, her cellphone went off. She saw that it was her sister before silencing it.
“And then you stopped coming to the fundraisers and hospital events… I needed someone there with me.” Against her better judgment, Penny let Troy touch her cheek when he reached out. “I need a family, Penny, to come home to when I get off work. Someone who needs me back.”
“So you cheated on me.” Penny slipped out of his reach as he nodded his head. Again, her cellphone went off and this time she answered.
“Pen?” Her oldest sister’s voice was soft, scratchy as if she’d been crying.
“What is it, Sid?”
“It’s Dad, Pen. He’s had a heart attack… he didn’t make it.” Penelope dropped the phone. She saw Troy open his mouth but all she could hear was the ringing in her ears. She couldn’t feel him when he put his arms around her.
Penelope sat on her old four-wheeler on a hill in her family’s pasture. When she was younger, she used to come out here to think, to look over her small town and wonder what was waiting for her beyond the city limit sign. The last time she was home, her dad had followed her out here. He had known something was wrong and that was when she told him about the problems with her marriage. She had told him that she couldn’t get pregnant, that no matter how many different treatments Troy found, none of them worked. She had broken down and told her dad that she was tired of trying but afraid Troy would leave her if she stopped.
Her dad had simply asked what she wanted. She couldn’t answer him.
“I need you right now, Dad.” Dusk had fallen and the lights of the town had come on. Penelope hadn’t realized that it had gotten so late. The engine of the four-wheeler was cold. With one last look out across the pasture, she turned to go.
Her sisters were still up when she got back. They sat in the kitchen like they had done so many times when they were younger. Both of them looked up when Penelope walked in the door. Sid and Jo were still dressed in black. They hadn’t changed since the funeral earlier that day. Penelope supposed that they had just gotten done with the last of the people who had wanted to pay their respects. The smell of cooling casseroles, pies, and other dishes faintly lingered in the air. She had only been able to take an hour of it all before she retreated to her hill.
“What are we going to do with the ranch, Pen?” It was a thought that was on everyone’s mind, but Sid was the one to straight out ask. Penelope had a few offers from people willing to help the sisters with the chores. Cows had to be fed, fence needed to be fixed, and the list went on. Their dad had done his best by himself and now it was up to someone else. That was one nice thing about living in a small town, everyone was willing to help. The women made casseroles and the men helped with manual labor. It was the patriarchal society Penelope and her sisters had grown up in. Penelope was sick of it.
“I can do it.” She kicked off her boots and went to sit with her sisters in the kitchen.
“What do you mean?” Sid asked.
“I will take care of the place. I can do it.”
“Are you sure? It is a lot to take on and none of us have helped out much since we were little. Jo was the last one to leave and that was years ago.”
“It isn’t easy work, Pen. I never did much on my own.” Jo spoke up.
“I can do it guys. I will buy your thirds if that is what you are worried about. I saved up a bit before Troy made me quit my job.”
“Where is Troy? What would he say about this?” Sid was the one to ask but both of her sisters were staring at her.
“It doesn’t matter what he thinks. We aren’t together anymore.” Penelope got up to start cleaning up the place.
“What happened?”
“He cheated on me.” The sisters didn’t say anything more, simply focused on cleaning the kitchen. Penelope caught sight of a sign in their dad’s kitchen, “that just chaps my ass,” was imprinted on a simple piece of clay. Penelope smiled, imagining it was a nicer version of what her dad would say if she knew what Troy had done.
Penelope woke early the next morning. It was easier to take her mind off her dad’s death when she had things to focus on. It was winter, so while it meant less to do in general, it also meant that she needed to check the cows more often because they were ready to give birth. She found it ironic that she could help these mothers so easily when she couldn’t even help herself. Already today, she had fought off an angry cow to clean out the mucus from her baby’s nose so it could breathe. She had sat there when she was done, making sure the calf got up to suck. The calf wobbled on his new legs, eyes open wide in shock of the cold air. His mom worked hard to clean off the remaining mucus so the calf wouldn’t freeze to death.
She leaned back in the seat of the pickup, letting the air from the heater hit her in the face. She took out the book that her dad used to keep track of which cows had given birth and marked a ‘b’ next to cow 413 to indicated that she’d given birth to a bull. Her handwriting looked so different next to her dad’s. His was more like small scribbles. Hers stood out on the page. She could remember helping her dad feed the cows in this very pasture, him teaching her how to drive, late nights checking the cows with her sisters, and how she always fell asleep snuggled between her dad and her middle sister. Most of her childhood was spent with her father in and out of the pickup.
Penelope’s cheeks felt cold. She reached up and felt tears. She dug a napkin out of the console of the pickup and flipped down the visor to wipe her face. Out of it fell a picture of her mom, her sisters, and herself. She carefully put it back in the visor, wiped the tears off her face, and headed out of the pasture.
Troy’s car was waiting for her in the driveway. He was leaning against the driver’s door as she pulled up and rolled down her window. “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to be here for you,” he said.
“That’s comical. Now you want to be here for me?”
“Penny, why are you taking this on?”
Penelope didn’t answer.
“You need help.”
“I can do this, Troy. I don’t want any help. I’m not giving this up.”
“Penny-”
“Don’t fight this. Let this go.” She saw him grimace, perhaps in regret, before meeting her gaze again.
“Is that what you really want?” She hardly heard the question as the wind whipped up and stole her breath.
“Yes.” She watched as he turned away from her to start his car.
The barbed fence was wrapped tightly around itself. A deer had most likely caught its foot in an ill-calculated jump and in a panic kicked until it came free. The top wire dangled and sagged on either side of the break past the wrap. Penelope sighed when she realized that she’d need to use the wire stretchers, something she always relied on her dad to handle. She focused on unwrapping the wire first. With her bare hands, she picked at pieces between the barbs and slowly made her way through the tangled sections. Each time she lost her hold on the wire, she was rewarded with a thin, red cut. By the time she was finished, her hands looked as though she’d been mauled by a cat.
Now it was time for the wire stretchers. Pulling the tool from the pickup proved to be a struggle for her. Gone were her country girl muscles, they were replaced with thin arms. She used to be so tough.
She hooked one end of the broken wire into the stretchers and reached for the other. It was just out of her reach. She gently put down the end she had captured and went to pull the other end closer. While she was pulling the slack tight, a pickup pulled up behind her own and an unfamiliar figure got out.
“Need some help?” A man walked towards her, spurs jingling with every step.
“Oh, thanks, but I got it.” Penelope went back to pulling the wire but no new slack appeared and she was still out of the reach of the stretchers.
“You sure?”
“Yeah, I got it.” She reached out to grab the stretchers, hoping her body would find new flexibility. Suddenly, further down, the wire broke and she landed on her butt, hard. “Shit.”
From the road, she could hear the stranger chuckle. “Let me help. I’ve got extra wire and splicers. It will go faster. Promise.”
“I’ve got those too. I can do this.”
The man paid no attention to her words and returned with his supplies. “I know you can do it. I just want to help.” He offered her a gloved hand up. “You’re the youngest Heinzman, aren’t you?”
Penelope looked at his hand before getting up herself. “Yeah. Who are you?”
“I thought you got married and moved away to the big city.”
“People come back.”
“Everybody in this town swore you wouldn’t. You here to stay?”
“You’re dumb if you believe town gossip. Now, who the heck are you?” Penelope picked up the stretchers.
“Wyatt Boone, but people just call me Boone.” He tipped his hat to Penelope. “Only moved here but a couple years ago, so it doesn’t surprise me you don’t know me.”
“Well, Wyatt, why don’t you perform on what you promised and help me with this fence?” She grabbed the splicers from Wyatt’s hands and walked towards the new broken spot. She heard him chuckle and the jingles of his spurs as he followed.
They worked in silence until Wyatt spoke. “I’m sorry about your dad.”
Penelope looked up for a brief second before going back to work on the fence. “Thanks. Did you know him?”
“We had a couple of beers from time to time down here. My property line isn’t too far and we’d bump into each other every so often checking cows.”
“How was he?”
Wyatt slowed his work. “He missed your mom. He was always talking about her, telling stories about how they met and such. He was a fool for her.”
“A true fairy tale love if you ask me. Hard to find something like that these days.”
“He was also always talking about you. He was so proud of you. Going off and making something of yourself.”
Penelope stopped working. “And I gave it all up for a man.”
“Well, you can always make something here.”
It was a Saturday night, a couple of weeks after Penelope’s dad had passed away. A winter chill hung in the air but the moon was shining bright. Penelope checked her lipstick in the rearview mirror. It was the first time she’d worn makeup since her dad’s funeral. Since then, she had devoted her time to the ranch and figured the cows didn’t care what she looked like. She pulled at the blouse she was wearing, unused to the tightness of it. She got out of her pickup to meet Wyatt at the door to the bar.
“Wow Heinzman, you clean up nice.” He whistled as he opened the door for her.
“Nice to see you didn’t doll yourself up for the occasion.” Penelope looked at Wyatt’s faded jeans, button-up shirt, and work boots. “You even put on cologne for me?” She could faintly smell cow shit as she passed him.
“Well shoot, didn’t realize this was a date.” They sat down at the bar and ordered their drinks. “Here’s to the cows.” Their bottles made a nice clink and they both took a swig. “How’re things with the little missus?”
Penelope took another drink before answering. “Do we really have to talk about Troy tonight? I’m doing just fine without him.”
“Yes, yes you are. Cheers to that.” They clinked their bottles again. “What did you do up there anyway before you met him?”
“I was a tax accountant at a small firm.” Penelope downed her drink.
“Whoa, brains and beauty? Damn.”
Penelope wobbled on her barstool when Wyatt nudged her with his elbow. Another beer was set before them and they both took a long drink.
“I was only a few years in my career when I met Troy. He was just getting ready to start his residency at a local hospital. Somewhere down the line, he managed to convince me to quit my job. Said he’d make plenty for the both of us. It was a tempting idea, to have someone take care of me. A nice change.” She took another drink and looked sideways at Wyatt. He returned her gaze.
“Can’t let anyone take that much of you.”
“Yeah… guess I learned that now.” She forced a laugh. “Come on, quit being such a buzz kill.”
They continued to drink until closing time, both drunk by then. From the tailgate of Penelope’s pickup, they finished their last drink.
“We didn’t plan this too well, did we?” Penelope was laying out on the tailgate, her coat bundled around her.
“Whatdoyamean?” Wyatt’s words came out in a rush as he crushed a can under his boot.
“How are we gettin’ home, genius?” She attempted to lift herself to look at him but couldn’t make it that far.
“I got this.”
Penelope was yanked from the tailgate, barely getting her balance before Wyatt led her away from her pickup.
“My house isn’t too far from here.”
She allowed Wyatt to lead her down the streets, her vision focusing in and out. She saw glimpses of houses she knew from childhood, watched as her breath fogged the air in front of her. All she could feel of Wyatt was the warmth of his hand. She looked over at him a few times, but he was just a blurred figure.
Finally, they reached his house and it was warm inside. They kicked off their shoes and ditched their jackets to head to the living room, Penelope still being led by Wyatt’s grasp. She flopped down on the couch when she found it and he sat down on the floor in front of it.
“Wyatt?”
“Yeah?”
“Would you leave a woman who couldn’t give you children, a family?” Silence filled the living room and Penelope was afraid he had fallen asleep. She heard him clear his throat.
“No. Children aren’t the only thing that makes a family.”
Penelope woke the next morning with a headache and her hand still clasped in Wyatt’s.
A blizzard descended on the town in the next few days. Penelope was out constantly checking the cows, making sure their water didn’t freeze over, and getting calves to the shelter of the barn if needed. She was still waiting on a few cows to calve out and suspected they’d probably do it now.
The snow was building on the ground quickly and visibility had diminished to a quarter of a mile. She was stuck within a pristine, white world. The wind rocked her pickup with angry howls as the snow fought against her windshield. She wouldn’t be making it home tonight.
She waited for the wind to die down before continuing on her third check of the day. So far everything was good, the cows had all bunched together in an effort to keep warm but it made counting them impossible. She hoped they were all in the bunch.
She was about to head back to the barn when she found a cow in the middle of labor. She could tell that the cow was having difficulties as the feet were the only thing showing. Penelope never helped a cow in delivery before, she’d been lucky. She dialed Wyatt.
“What’s up?” Wind buffeted against the phone making it hard to hear him.
“I’ve got a cow having troubles.”
“Out in the pasture?”
“Yeah.”
“Get her to the barn and I will be there as soon as I can. I’ve got my own problems going on.”
It took her almost thirty minutes of fighting and herding the cow to get her to the barn. By then, Penelope feared it was too late for the calf but she had to try to save it. Wyatt still wasn’t there and he wasn’t answering her calls. She’d have to do this on her own.
Penelope tried to think back to the times she’d watched her dad deliver a calf, tried to remember how he explained it to her. Pulling on the extra-long gloves, a knot formed in her stomach. If she did this wrong, the calf would die and even if the calf was delivered alive, there was a chance the cow could prolapse. The cow let out a long moan and Penelope looked at the cow’s panting form stuck in the chute. It was now or never.
Penelope grabbed the calf’s exposed feet. When the cow pushed, she pulled. The calf inched a little further out. It was give and take. With every inch the calf gained, the cow pushed harder. Penelope feared the cow would push too hard.
“Come on mama, the hips are almost out.” She pulled extra hard the next time the cow pushed and half of the torso was exposed. “Come on, come on.” The cow pushed again and the shoulders could be seen. “Almost there mama, one more good one.” The cow was done though. She heaved in front of Penelope, shoulders sagging. If the cow laid down, it would be harder to get the calf out. Penelope pulled and made a little headway, but still, the cow wouldn’t push. It was still threatening to lay down. Penelope gave it once last heave and fell on her butt. A slimy calf slid out into her lap.
Its lungs were lifting and falling gently and Penelope cleared away the mucus from his nose. She pulled it from its mother so she didn’t accidentally lay down on it and went to grab a towel from the tack room.
Wyatt appeared in the doorway as she was cleaning the calf off.
“Hey, you did it. It’s alive?”
“Yeah, he’s alive.” Penelope smiled at Wyatt as he kneeled beside her. The calf bellowed and its mom answered back.
“Need another towel?”
“Yeah, there are some in the tack room.” Penelope helped the calf stand and led it to its mother’s side. She stood back as he began to eat. After a moment, Wyatt joined her.
“I think you’ll cut it here just fine.”
Once again, Penelope sat before the box that held the baby things, travel articles, and accounting papers, except this time it was empty. The stuffed animals and baby clothes sat in a new box with ‘Donations’ written across the top in black marker. The papers sat in the trash, waiting to be taken to the burn pile. She pushed the box back underneath her bed.
On her way out the door, she passed a picture of herself supporting a wobbly baby calf born in the middle of a blizzard.
