Screaming Silent

I stood by when arguments erupted anytime in the house,
silent.
I stood by when you had too much to drink and swore you would change,
silent.
I stood by when you snuck out at night and stole a car with your friends,
silent.

I stood by all those times when you needed more and more love and attention,
silent.
I stood by and ignored my pain and held everything inside,
silent.

I kept my tears and thoughts of self-hatred inward and let it grew,
silent.
I kept the squabbles of our family and constant problems internal,
silent.

I kept the voices that wanted to rebel stifled without telling you,
silent.
I kept the anger and resentment towards you under the surface,
silent.

I hold the burdens of others on my shoulders,
silent.
I hold the secret of how my first time scarred me,
silent.

I’ve remained silent for so long I forget what my voice sounds like.
I forget it’s even there.
What can be said when everything is taken away.
My freedom, my voice, my respect, my ability to live.

I have nothing left.