Selfish

I bite my lip,

I hold my tongue.

I don’t let anything out.

If I do, I get told that I’m selfish and should appreciate life.

I don’t speak up whenever I feel depressed,

it is rare to ever see me happy.

I’m only seen as an abundant source of negativity and cynicism.

People keep telling me to smile, think happy thoughts, and life isn’t that bad.

I hide every aspect of my life because no one wants to know it.

I try to lie and make things better than what they are,

to keep the nonexistent light burning, to keep fighting myself and say

things are getting better, but deep down they’re not.

Is it so selfish to want something different?

Is it so selfish to be known, to be understood?

Is it so selfish to finally be looked upon with favor by family or friends?

Is it so selfish to live life free from judgement, paranoia, or beratings?

Is it so selfish to be different from others?

Is it so selfish to not want to be a part of someone’s life?

Is it so selfish to be able to express yourself, or to just live?

Is it so selfish?