Slipping Away

“Lit Up — May’s Prompt: Nostalgia”

Victor was sitting in the Cafeteria laughing at something his girlfriend said to him. I know I shouldn’t have but I approached him in a whisper.

“Victor, listen to me,” I whispered. “Victor, I am back with a new idea,” I said quietly. He wouldn’t listen to me.

He was busy holding his girlfriend’s hand and trying to show it off. It was quite difficult given they were sitting in the school cafeteria. The only comfortable way to hold hands was under the table and it was hard to show off in that position. So he kissed her hand just to show off. I couldn’t believe he had grown so petty. We used to make fun of these cheesy couples all the time. Now he had gone off and became one with her, cutting me off completely.

We always made our characters interesting in the stories we wrote. We made sure to make them funny and ‘not petty’. I can say this because we had won competitions for our characters. He was so happy those days that we would spend hours sculpting our next stories afterwards. But then he went ahead and fell in love. And it became hard to get his attention.

So I told him about Hugo who ran away from home. I said that Hugo was suffering from partial eyesight and hearing. I told him in how much danger Hugo would be. I taunted him to save Hugo. And it was because if there was anything he couldn’t resist, it was a young boy in distress. I tempted him hoping with all my heart that he would listen.

And then he suddenly stopped laughing and started thinking about Hugo. He gave Hugo a small physique with sturdy legs. He dressed Hugo in a dark blue shirt with red checks and denim trousers. He imagined a winter twilight when Hugo would have sneaked out of his house.

My hopes seared. He started twirling his pen and I literally jumped out of excitement. There had always been a sign that he was listening to me. I looked up to see another idea like mine, smiling sadly at my hopefulness. It whispered to him that he should ride his cycle today after school. But he wouldn’t even let the idea within his circle. The idea that suggested he ride his car smirked at this one. I felt sad for a moment.

How stupid of me.

At that moment, his girlfriend asked, “Victor baby, What’s wrong?”

He turned to his girlfriend’s forlorn face. As if she would hit bottomless depression if he didn’t listen to her for five seconds. What a bitch!

“Oh, its nothing,” he said with a secret smile. The smile of inspiration. The inspiration that came from me.

I liked our secret bonding very much. But I know if I kept on gloating like this he would soon ask her to continue.

So I whispered to him about Hugo’s elder sister. I told him that she was Hugo’s only hope. How she was the only one Hugo was close to in the entire earth. I urged him to help Hugo find his elder sister. I told him that she was pregnant and happily married. She would like nothing more than to find Hugo. But she ran away from home for love and she was disowned. I told him how the parents cut her off completely. How Hugo knows nothing about her whereabouts.

I smiled victoriously when he reached out for a tissue. All I wanted was for him to write down the idea extensively. Because whenever he wrote down a summary of me, it was his way of promising. He always got back to me when he did that.

“Hey, you are quiet all of the sudden.”

I was irritated to hear his girlfriends voice again. She was interrupting all the time. She was the reason I had to fight so hard for his attention. There used to be a time when he spent almost all his time with me. We found Sarah who had two hearts. We saved Jesse from destroying his life. We united the twins Damien and Leslie after twenty-five years. We created new worlds. I was always the one who got to smirk at other ideas. I used to be the lucky idea. The dominating one. But not anymore. I saw the current dominating idea approaching and I panicked. She was about to suggest to skip class and spend time together.

So I started rushing things. I told him about Hugo’s dog but I forgot to say that it followed Hugo and saved his life a couple of times. I told him about a girl in a white dress but I skipped the fact that she fed him when he had almost starved to death. I told him about two men and I forgot to mention that they were evil and planned to prey on Hugo. I told him about stolen kidneys but I failed to mention that these men were planning to steal Hugo’s Kidneys.

Victor crunched his eyebrows in confusion. He tried to find me. The dominating idea just watched me with amusement. It watched as I confused him. It didn’t even approach him until he had wrinkled that tissue and thrown it away. My heart broke into thousand little pieces when the tissue hit the trash.

Victor smiled seductively at his girlfriend. He kissed her vulgarly.

“How about we skip the afternoon and spend some time together” He whispered in her ears making her blush. She whacked him in the head but I knew he would win. I knew they would spend the afternoon together. They were happy and they were in love. No matter what, I couldn’t hold a grudge against him for choosing happiness over me.

I walked away sadly. Sad, for all the stories we had written. Sad for his diary that had grown dusty. We used to be a good team. I, he, his diary and his pens. Oh, yeah, and a bunch of tissues. I looked at the other ideas still hoping that he would listen to them. I walked away with the knowledge that I should better stop trying. But I knew I wouldn’t as long as the hope of one more time existed.

And then suddenly Carla overheard about Hugo. She pushed all the other ideas aside to hear me. Carla was sitting in the library with a pen and paper ready to write down whatever I had to say. I looked back to Victor to see if he would at least think about me. I looked back one last time to see if he would take a new tissue now that his girlfriend had gone to the restroom. But I saw the dominating idea spinning around all the things they would have been doing alone. I sighed softly.

And then I told Carla about Hugo. I told her about his sickness. I told her about his sister. I spoke about the two men and remembered to mention they were evil too. I told her about everything without leaving out the details. I felt safe and secure with every word Carla wrote down. We fell into a good acquaintance and I knew we would be the best of friends in a while. I also knew that there would come a time when I’d be snatched away by someone else. For I had no end and the human mind has. I had seen Brit, Tiffany, Max, and so many more before Victor and I knew I would see many more after Carla. But the farewell had never ceased to be heartbreaking. Nostalgia never leaves. It’s a huge weight to be carried by a thing as fragile as an idea.