The Best Years

free verse

dreading the bell.
one more lunch in the library.
you devour the books. you get the grades.
imaginary friends on paper, in a foreign place.
anywhere but here. is it always like this?

school spirit. no drama, debate, sports.
why won’t you try?
you avoid the bus: you’re not going to volunteer
to form a team, be picked.
for more hours at this school.

you’re functional in enforced structure.
but the end of exams, free periods, summer
fun?
waiting for the phone ring. it doesn’t.
no plans. no invites. are there parties?
where do they go? how do they know?

you analyze popularity
in the stretches of silence.
what does it take to fit in
learn what to wear, to say?
the right words, the laughter, the ease
the way they look.
the words stuck in your throat.
lonely. frozen. you can’t try.

you fold in on yourself.
you know you could be so much more
hungry for kindness.
just one look, a touch, a smile.
invisible: are you still there?