The Voice of Reason
Lit Up — May’s Prompt: Nostalgia
Remember when he loved you? whispers a voice in my mind. Remember when he wanted you?
I shake my head; the voice is so seductive but it’s told me this before, tells me every day.
Trick question; he never loved you. The voice is gleeful at its cruel cleverness.
“No, but he hinted at it. And he wanted me; he told me.”
He lied.
I nod at this. Of course he lied. I’ve been here, in this room, listening to the voice berate me, reassure me, for months now. Not once has he visited, has he called, has he shown any sign I’m still alive.
The voice becomes a shadow, sitting next to me on the padded floor. I used to scream but it just made the voice angry. I don’t like the voice when it’s angry.
He used you.
I shake my head but I know it’s true.
There’s nothing left for you. He said he understood, he’d help you, and now you’re alone and he’s moved on. It’s all your fault, Sara.
I nod, blinking away the tears.
But you can make it better.
“I can get him back?”
The voice shrugs. I know that doesn’t make sense but it’s what the voice does. I sense it.
I can help you, Sara. You’ve messed up, messed up so horribly, but if you do what I tell you it won’t be as bad. You’ll save yourself, Sara. Do you want that?
I nod again. They’re watching me, everyone is always watching me, the doctors and the voice and whoever the voice answers to. It’ll be tough, but the voice will help me.
I will save myself.
Read more about Sara:
https://medium.com/@edmartin.writer/tim-and-sara-3dfcdae26385
E.D. Martin is a writer with a knack for finding new jobs in new places. Born and raised in Illinois, her past incarnations have included bookstore barista in Indiana, college student in southern France, statistician in North Carolina, economic development analyst in North Dakota, and high school teacher in Iowa. She draws on her experiences to tell the stories of those around her, with a generous heaping of “what if” thrown in.
She currently lives in Illinois where she job hops while attending grad school and working on her novels. Read more of her stories at her website.
