Two Shadows

The green grass tickled Ashley’s pale bare toes as she casually stepped across the empty field. There was not much happening on this lazy, hot summer afternoon. Forty-two days until the beginning of the fourth grade.

A Monarch butterfly caught Ashley’s attention and she chased after it with great purpose. Back and forth, up and down. The butterfly was just too quick and was not destined to be caught. Ashley dashed and darted, grabbed, snatched and whisked. But the butterfly kept evading.

As she ran, Ashley felt the presence of a light and carefree shadow tracing her every step at her right side. Ashley looked and noticed a lighter than normal shadow mimicking her. She stopped and stared at the shadow for a few moments with an innocent curiosity.

“Hi, shadow. Can you talk to me? Have you followed me before?” asked Ashley.

“Of course, Ashley. I’m always with you, even when it’s dark and you think you’re all alone.”

“I’m lonely and no one understands and no one cares. I try my best at home with my mean parents and at school with my dumb head teacher but nothing is ever good enough. I’m always in trouble and getting detention,” said Ashley.

“I see. Getting in trouble for what?” asked the shadow.

“I cheated on my math test and Ms. Salger caught me slipping my cheat sheet under my test paper. I got two weeks detention for that. But I only cheated because Ms. Salger gives the smart kids candies after recess and tells them how wonderful they are. Even that big, dumb, meanie Judy gets treats from Ms. Salger because she aces the spelling tests every Friday,” said Ashley.

“But you know cheating is wrong and that cheaters never really succeed in life, right? Perhaps you should try studying harder,” replied the shadow.

“You sound just like my dad. I don’t know. I just want to be liked,” said Ashley.

The shadow spoke softly and explained the best he could. The shadow discussed the importance of honesty and compassion and explained the importance of obeying your parents, respecting elders, and helping the poor.

Ashley understood and nodded, but she felt the shadow was giving her some tough rules to follow.

Ashley skipped along the grass field and back onto her street, across her front yard, and into her house. That night was the usual Wednesday routine — meatloaf for dinner. Then a Disney princess fairytale on T.V. that would be the source of great disappointment later in life. Then off to bed.

Ashley slept soundly and righteously, the way only a young child can.

The summer morning was bright with punishing intensity. Forty-one days until the beginning of fourth grade.

After the usual morning spent bickering with her brother, Ashley made her way back to the grass field. She noticed a new, dark shadow following her every move. This shadow began the conversation.

“Hi there, Ashley,” said the shadow.

“Hey,” Ashley responded.

“Can I follow you around today just for fun?” asked the shadow.

“Sure, I’m just hanging around. I want to go to the store and get some ice cream, but I don’t have any money,” said Ashley.

“You don’t need money, all you need is your wits. I’ll show you how to borrow,” said the shadow.

“You need money to get ice cream from the store,” replied Ashley.

“Taking a little ice cream here and there just for kicks never hurt anyone. I’ll bet the store owner wouldn’t even notice the ice cream was missing,” said the shadow.

This new shadow was a serious talker and an even better listener. It was like he really cared. He talked fast and was very sure of himself. He taught Ashley about the virtue of selfishness and told her to never deny herself what she wanted in life.

“This life is it, kiddo, and there ain’t nothing more out there. You can take my word for it. So get what you want and live your life for yourself. If you don’t stand up for yourself, no one will respect you. Don’t sacrifice your pleasure for some phony pie in the sky that you’ll never see. Anyone who tells you that people aren’t selfish is a liar. It’s every kid for herself out there, so don’t be a fool, Ashley,” the shadow explained.

Ashley felt that this shadow was making sense. Why should she trot through life acting like some goody two shoes and let the bad kids get away with stealing and eating all the ice cream, while she would get stuck with prunes for dessert?

Ashley slowly meandered home, digesting all that the new shadow had taught her that afternoon. That night she lied awake in bed, trapped with the thoughts of a tormented mind for the first time in her short life. She shifted, kicked, and breathed hard through the long, dark night. Ashley sensed an ugly heaviness gripping her guts.

The morning presented itself abruptly. Forty days until the beginning of fourth grade.

Ashley found herself back at the grass field, which seemed to have been waiting for her. The sun owned the sky uncontested, but no shadow followed Ashley.

Ashley stood with her feet firmly planted at the center of the large field. Two shadows appeared in the distance. As she peered across the field, Ashley saw the shadow to the right study her with a calm and peaceful smile, and his hands folded. She then glanced to her left and witnessed the second shadow sporting a menacing grin, signaling with a bony hand for her to veer his way.

Ashley closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and made a confident step forward.

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