Vampire Dreams
All Hallow’s Eve was nearly here —
a vampire’s special time of year.
For on this night of wand’ring ghouls,
they freely blend with costumed fools
and traipse with them through leaves and mud
to choose their prey and suck their blood.
As soon as dusk gave way to night,
Vince awoke in a state of fright.
His coffin seemed so awfully snug,
his bloodshot eyes — like puffy slugs.
He looked as bloated as roadkill.
In fact, this vampire felt quite ill.
Vince waddled down a dead end street
as crackling leaves swirled round his feet.
And there he found, to his surprise,
a doc (no less) to victimize.
This doctor who would be his prey
told Vincent, “You must change your ways!”
“You’re over weight,” the doctor sighed.
“Your blood pressure is way too high.
I’ve seen this sort of thing before,
this sucking blood can be no more.
Cholesterol is bad for you
and Atkin’s diet will not do.
On cabbage soup, you now must feed.
Take this pamphlet — be sure to read.”
