Welcome to the World, Adult
Lit Up — April’s Prompt: Transition
“God!” I’m thinking now. “Where do I begin?” I feel like the ‘morning after’, my head pounding, that pang in the gut following a night of serious drinking and dancing, maybe I’ll throw up, except I haven’t had a drop.
My detractors, following high school graduation, had most likely wagered that I would never make it. ‘Showed those bastards. It didn’t matter that I had not a clue on how to study, how to play the higher-education game — all while living on my own for the first time in my life. That still gives me chills when its realization sinks home. You’ve come a long way, Baby! Life sometimes sucks, but at least I now know a few of the ins and outs.
My working two or three outside jobs — restaurant/bar — the usual occupation; then dormitory resident assistant, gave me some ‘get-a-new-piercing’, or ‘get-a-new-tattoo’ fund, but otherwise did little to help my financial situation. Damn, what a life lesson! Maybe that ‘9–5’ life (regardless of the actual schedules) will never cover everything I want or think I need, but what else is there?
Maybe I was nuts to believe that I could cram four years of a degree program into three, plus the jobs, plus the stress and lack of rest — but here I am: The downhill slide through my capstone project and graduation. Some day, I promise myself that I will worry about the chronic diseases and terminal allergies that have been with me forever. I’m not getting any younger and I should have some concern for those medical repairs which may be available to me. But first, I think I must work. That’s what adults do.
I never expected the first of many bump blocks when I started university. Hell, music had been part of my life for as long as I can remember. Playing an instrument in middle-and-high school band all those years, wasn’t that sufficient? Didn’t that qualify me? Eventually becoming an award-winning drum major in an award-winning, performance band, didn’t that clearly show my skills and interest as a music-major and set me up for a brilliant career? Little did I know that there are cruel professors, who relish in drumming out those wet behind the ears frosh from a music programme. In hindsight, maybe I should have sued the bastards, but, then again, why bother? I didn’t have the money for that anyway. I’m probably better off with a broader degree program than the closed world of music. I have no time for or interest in regrets. Stuff happens beyond my control.
When I decided to come out in my first year of university, I am not sure why I decided to use 20–30 hash tags, all saying in one form or another, “I’m really gay” but I did, on Facebook and Insta no less. I lost some friends and gained some others in the weeks and months following. A few old friends wondered why all those social-justice and personal, sexual-identity issues suddenly became topmost on my list at that moment. I’m not sure. Maybe it was my way of creating my own ‘line in the sand’, a shot — a declaration if you will — at a shared identity that had remained hidden for all those years.
My crystal ball has been fuzzy for a good, long while. Is that new-job offer worth the investment of all of me? Should I just stick around in university for my Masters? How many tens of thousands of student debt can I handle now, later? Where-the-hell is that “Reliable Life Lessons and Advice” helpline when you could use it?
Oh, well. Enough of this! I think I’ll have another cigarette and crack that bottle of rum I’ve been saving for a special occasion. Maybe I’ll Snap Cody and see if he wants to help me dispose of it…
With my trademark smile, I’ll make it, after all.
Fiction Life Adult Graduate
