Brain for Rent!
Well-appointed, spacious, and full of charm, WOW! And at a low monthly rate you won’t believe! You’ve got to take a look at this brain!
This brain is spacious but cozy, intimate but respectful. A meticulously maintained modern classic! This brain truly has it all!
This brain is move-in ready. This sort of brain doesn’t come along everyday. You DO NOT want to miss out on this brain.
It’s got amenities galore! This brain comes with tons of storage, multiple rooms for optimal organization, and more than 38+ years of problem-solving experience. And did I mention the view? Trust me, things look pretty darn good from here, thanks to this brain’s commitment to daily habits and practices that cultivate optimism, curiosity, and an earnest desire to improve continuously. Believe me, this brain won’t last long at this price.
What’s the price? I’m so glad you asked!
But first, I know you’ll want to hear about all the upgrades!
That’s right, this brain comes with newly installed and regularly updated knowledge about all manner of topics. This brain seems to know a little bit about everything! And get this: if there’s a topic you’re interested in that the brain doesn’t know much about, the brain goes right out and learns it. Practically automatically!
All you have to do to gain 8 hours of daily occupancy* of this brain is make a highly reasonable monthly deposit into the brain owner’s bank account, and you can move in immediately and start enjoying not just this brain, but the entire community of deluxe brains that have influenced this brain over the years. This community includes the likes of Albert Einstein, Jane Goodall, and William Shakespeare! Imagine waking up in the morning to a recitation of Hamlet? Or perhaps some recent observations about animal ingenuity while you brush your teeth? But don’t worry; if you would rather just sleep in, this brain definitely knows how to keep quiet.
Important: This brain does not discriminate. The brain will happily consider occupants of all, genders, orientations, races, ethnicities, and religions.
*Some conditions may apply. Monthly fees provide access to the brain Monday through Friday, during standard business hours only, unless it’s an emergency. Services outages may occur for regularly scheduled maintenance. This brain is not accepting children at this time. Offer only available in some states.
